the love pact

07/2019

"Y/N, if you see this, this means I'm no longer with you." Chris sighs and runs a hand through his hair. His voice is clear and the video is played on the screen at the lawyer. I bite my lip and Lisa takes my hand, squeezing it.

"Can we stop this please? I...", my voice breaks and I get up to walk outside, taking a deep breath and lean on the wall. Lisa is right behind me.

"Come here...", she wants to pull me into her arms but I pull away, holding my hand up between us, stating that I don't want to be touched.

"It's alright... I ...", I sigh and rub my face before I get back inside, sitting down again, looking at the lawyer. "Go ahead, please..."

He nods and Lisa sits down next to me. I put my hands in my lap, staring at Chris on the screen. He wears his favorite shirt.

"Oh my sweet honey, I wish this would be different. It's so hard to be prepared for this, but... we made it. Honey, you were the love of my life. And I am beyond happy. Well, I don't have an escape plan for you or something, but... you're my everything. Everything I own belongs to you now. I hope you'll never forget how much I love you. Michael will give you an envelope with everything you need to know. He'll manage everything for you."

He shifts in the seat. "Mom, dad? I'm so sorry you have to do this. I ...."

My thoughts drift off and I close my eyes. I'm not able to listen to his voice anymore. A voice I loved so much and can never hear again.

—

Michael hands me an envelope with a professional smile.
"I'm very sorry for your loss, Misses Evans. Chris was a good friend. He made sure you don't have to care about all the things now, so... in this envelope you'll find everything you need to know and I'll do the rest. There's another video for you, but Chris didn't want the rest of his family to see it. If you want I'll watch it with you, if you need someone to be there."

I take the envelope and shake my head. "Thank you, Michael. I will see it at home."

He nods and leads me out of the building. "I will call you in the next few days as soon as everything is done."

I nod and put on my sunglasses, walking through flashlights to my car. Paparazzi shouting questions in my direction. I quickly climb into the car and drive home.

—

Chris is sitting in his working room, on his desk, leaned back in the huge chair. His expression is soft, his eyes sad.

"Honey, I know this is tough... but... I want you to know that you don't... you're so young, and I know that I am not the love of your life. Your love grew stronger and we were happy, weren't we? But ... now that I'm gone, I want you to be happy. Don't stay home all the time. You are allowed to be happy again, without me..."

He sighs and smiles at the camera. "I know you too well, honey. You don't need my permission but... I want you to know that it's okay. You deserve everything, you deserve the best. And I love you so much... and I ever will. But... I don't want you to stay alone and unhappy for the rest of your life now. Okay? Sell the villa, sell all the cars... start to write that blog you always wanted to. Live your life. Do what you want. Don't care about what others might say. Everyone who knows us will know that this is the best you can do. I love you, honey. I love you so, so much."

—

Today is Chris funeral. In Sudbury. A lot of people will be there, and I hope they make sure no paparazzis will be there. His mom cared about inviting everyone, Chris left a list for her or something. He really knew what he wanted.