Miss You More (A Joey McIntyre/Jordan Knight Fanfiction)

38

Amber tries to force things to go back to normal but Joe is having a hard time with it. He can't seem to stop thinking about what could have happened if Jordan hadn't walked into that room at that moment. The thought of someone violating his wife guts him completely. The fact it was someone she trusted made it even worse. But she keeps telling him she's fine. He thinks he might scream if he hears the words "I'm fine" come out of her mouth again.

"Hey babe, where you at?" Her voice pulls him out of his dark thoughts.

"I'm in the kitchen." He can't help but smile when she walks into the room. She looks so beautiful in her baby doll dress, showing off those gorgeous tan legs of hers. She really does have a glow about her. He loves how her baby bump is growing more prominent now. He has such a hard time keeping his hands off it whenever he's near her. His hand rests on her bump now as she starts telling him about her afternoon.

"So, Sam and I met for lunch today. You really need to call her, she's not looking real good. She said her doctor won't let her go on the cruise. I think there's something going on and she's not telling me Joe."

Joe immediately feels terrible. He hasn't been checking in on Sam and the baby as much as he should have been. He's just been so busy taking care of Amber. Even though she says he's hovering and she doesn't need a babysitter. But honestly he's been terrified to leave her side, if he's given a choice. He's got to get over that. "I'll go by and see her before we leave for the cruise. Maybe tomorrow. Speaking of doctors, when is your next appointment to get cleared to go on the ship?"

Amber rolls her eyes. "Joe, I don't need to be cleared by my doctor. I'm fine." He almost screams.

"I know you're fine Amber. But you're also almost six months along and you've had complications before at this point in your pregnancy. I'd like for the doctor to just check you out and let him tell me your fine. Will you please just do this one little thing for me? Please?"

Amber can hear the concern in his voice, or is it exasperation? She knows he's sick of hearing her say she's fine. "I'll make an appointment for tomorrow morning, before you go see Sam. That way you can come with me and hear what the doctor has to say, okay?" Joe feels better that she wants him to go with her.

"Did Sam say why the doctor wouldn't clear her? Is the baby okay?"

Amber exhales loudly. "I don't know Joe. She didn't tell me why. I'm sure it's you she wants to talk to about it. Look I don't mind keeping in contact with Sam, she's actually not as bad as I thought she was. But you need to be the one in contact with her. It's your baby she's having, not mine. She's pretty much doing this all alone and I think that's what her problem is. I think she's depressed and not taking care of herself. You've got to make more time for her, if not for her, do it for that baby. She says she's not sure if she should find out the sex or not. She wanted to know what you and I were doing. So again she wants to do what you want to do."

Joe sighs, Amber's making him feel like shit right now. It's just that this is not how he saw his life at forty turning out. Two babies on the way, with two women. One was the love of his life, the other was his best friend, or had been his best friend. He wanted this baby with Amber more than anything in the world. He was just having a hard time accepting the fact that he was going to have to be a father to a child he did not want. And he prayed every night that God would forgive him for not wanting Sam's baby. He prayed she'd find someone to love her and her baby and then he'd be off the hook. He knew this made him the shittiest man alive, but it was just how he felt in his heart. He couldn't make himself feel any different no matter how much he tried.

So spending any amount of time with Sam right now was not high on his agenda. He knew it was the right thing to do, but he was afraid he'd only make her feel worse when he didn't show any excitement at all.

"Fine Amber, I'll go by and see her tomorrow. I promise. Stop trying to make me feel bad. Trust me I already feel bad enough. But no matter how bad I feel I can't force myself to be happy about this situation."

Amber's eyes widen. "Situation? Joe it's a baby, not food poisoning. Whether you want this baby with Sam or not doesn't matter. It's happening. You decided to have sex without a condom Joe. That's how babies are made. So get over yourself. See the blessing in it. And stop being such a fucking prick to the mother of your child." Amber turns and walks out of the room. Joe's surprised by how upset she just got. He hadn't expected her to care this much about him not being there for Sam.

Joe goes into their bedroom to find his wife. She's sitting on the edge of their bed crying. "Amber? I'm sorry I upset you, that wasn't my intention." Amber lifts her eyes to  look at Joe. "You just don't get it babe. Being pregnant is terrifying enough all on its own. But to be all by yourself makes it a thousand times worse. I know, I did it all alone with Joey the last couple of months. Everything that happened afterwards snowballed from that loneliness. I don't want that for Sam. And if just being there for her prevents it from happening then I'm going to be there and you should be there too. That's all I'm saying about it. You need to make up your own mind. I'll love you either way."

Joe can't believe how his wife can still amaze him on this level after so long. This tops anything she's ever done before though. Speaking up for the "other" woman in Joe's life. A woman who is currently also pregnant with his child. Probably only a couple of weeks ahead of the child his wife is carrying. To see the emotional reaction Amber's having for Sam right now, it touches Joe in a way he didn't expect.

"I promise I'll do better. I'll make a real effort from now on babe. I'm so sorry I've been so selfish. I'll make things right with Sam."

Amber pulls Joe down to sit next to her on the bed and she leans over into his arms. "Thank you Joseph."