Miss You More (A Joey McIntyre/Jordan Knight Fanfiction)

43

"So Amber how're you feeling these days? You're not showing much at all. You still look so skinny."

Amber rolls her eyes, she knows she's showing enough to make it obvious she's pregnant. "Oh shut up Andi. I know I'm showing. None of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit anymore. But thanks for lying."

Andi had been wanting to ask her about Sam but was reluctant to bring her up. "How's everything else going?" She figures Amber will tell her about Sam if there's anything to tell.

Amber goes into the whole story about Sam. The whole story. "So yeah, Sam's giving Joe the daughter he wants so bad. I feel so inadequate. And to top it off she's naming the baby Katherine. After Joe's mom."

Andi's not sure if that's a big deal or not. "That's a good thing right? I mean she's doing that for Joe. It's a nice gesture."

"No, I mean yes it's nice of her. But I'd planned on our daughter being named after his mom when we had one." Amber looks so angry and Andi isn't sure what to say. Part of her kind of gets why she's upset. But the other part, the much bigger part, thinks Amber might be being a little selfish. There's no guarantee she and Joe will ever have a daughter and if they don't then no one gets named after Joe's mom. Andi doesn't say this to Amber though. She decides to just change the subject. "So what are you naming this little guy here?" She asks her as she reaches over and touches her little belly.

"James Nathaniel. Joe picked it out. I love that he thought of my Dads when picking out the name. Speaking of my Dads, what's going on with you and Jordan? Everything still good? Any talk of him and you making it official? I mean it's been over three years now. Don't you ever want more?" Amber's been so curious about this but never wanted to pry until now. She guesses its just being back here on the boat, knowing this is where it all started.

"Of course I want more, but this is all he can give right now. It's not like I'm having to share him with her. They barely even talk anymore. We do everything together. We even live together. The only thing I'm not getting from him is his last name. And I'm okay with that. It might be an issue for me if he was still with Evelyn. But he's not. And I know he loves me."

Amber's happy to hear this. Andi's happiness means a lot to her. "Do you ever talk about having any kids?" Amber sees how Andi avoids looking at her. She's suddenly very interested in her hand. "Naw, we don't want any kids. I mean he's got the boys. And that's enough for him. He's happy the way things are now. And I'm happy as long as he's happy."

Amber knows she's lying. They've been friends their whole lives. She knows Andi's always wanted kids. Why would that suddenly change? Amber decides it's none of her business though so she keeps her mouth shut.

Their almost awkward moment is saved by the sound of five very excited, over grown children coming down the hall. Amber and Andi stick their heads out the door and laugh as they watch them.

It's good to see them all so happy with each other. Amber loves seeing both her husband and her father like this, like boys again. It warms her heart.

"There's my beautiful wife. You ready for the Sail Away party? This group of cruisers are crazy fun. You are going to love them. Several of the women asked about you and the baby. The fans are so excited for us."

Amber wonders if the fans know about Sam and their baby too. She wonders if they are as happy for them. She hates that she feels something like jealousy towards Sam. She wants to be happy for her and Joe and for the baby girl they're having. She's just not sure how to be right now. But she's determined to try, for Joe's sake.

"I can't wait babe. You know how much I love your fans. But I'm not part of the show, I just want to sit back and watch you enjoy your time with the fans. Let's go get changed for the party. Bye Pops. Bye Andi. See you two at the party." She hugs and kisses them both and she and Joe head to their room.

Joe immediately picks up the phone in their room. "I'm going to call and check on Sam while you get ready." Amber's heart sinks, she can't help but feel like he's only worried about Sam while they're here, alone together. Normally the minute they're alone like this he's only thinking of her and getting her out of her clothes so he can make love to her. But lately he's barely touched her.

Amber goes into the bathroom and undresses. She stares at her naked body in the mirror. Andi was right, she still looks good. Her body looks amazing. Only a small belly, but it's her tits that catch her eye. Joe loves her tits, he's never been able to keep his hands off of them. She needs his hands on her now. She needs to feel connected to him.

Amber opens the bathroom door and she can hear Joe talking on the phone. She stands in the middle of their room, naked, waiting for him to notice her. He only glances up once, for just a second. But he goes back to his phone call. "Sam I'm sure everything is fine. You have an appointment with your doctor tomorrow. Just stop worrying. No it's fine Sam, you're aren't keeping me from anything. I've got a little while before the party begins."

Amber turns and goes back into the bathroom and grabs her robe. She puts it on and lays down on their bed. She turns her back to Joe and tears fall down her cheeks. One because she feels like Joe only cares about Sam and how she's doing. And two because she feels like she's a heartless bitch for not feeling concerned about what he's talking to Sam about.

She just wants things to go back to normal. The way she's feeling now, a little lost and neglected, can't continue. Something's got to change.