Glass & Roses (BBC Ghosts)

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S1E5: Moonah Ston

The lost money from the filming crew was sorely missed by Alison and Mike, but they were determined to do what they could. They had yet to schedule a woodworm treatment, seal the windows and fix the locks on all the doors. The next on the list was almost definitely a much needed carbon monoxide monitor, but when a ghost could control windows, there was potential for it being alright for a few weeks. The pigeon that kept getting in was also a much desired issue to sort, it was even starting to get to the ghosts now - Lucille had woken up one too many times with it settled on her duvet.

A hoard of dogs came rushing into the common room, the (unfortunately) familiar shouting of 'Bitches' following them. The dogs could see the ghosts, and set about barking loudly at them. Robin, clearly taking this as a challenge, barked back at them, creating an even louder noise than necessary.

Robin was particularly taken with a Golden Labrador, who was barking at him. "What you say?"

"Tally! Tally!" Barclay Bet-Chetwynde called, trying to get his dog to calm down. "Must have seen a ghost." Alison and Mike shared a look. "Ah. Didn't you know? This place - absolutely riddled with them. So legend has it. There's a lady falls from a window in the west wing."

"East wing!" Fanny corrected haughtily.

"Dressed in white."

"Grey!"

"Georgian."

"Edwardian."

"Attractive. Early 20s." Fanny doesn't both to correct him on this, looking at the other ghosts as if challenging them to say something. "And a strange creature that roams the grounds - half man, half ape." 

The ghosts all turn to look at Robin. Confused, Robin looks behind him, though no one was there. "Huh?"

"Oh! Well, I haven't see anything." Mike tells him.

"No. No he hasn't." Alison said, looking at Mike with a slight hint of jealousy.

"It's probably all tosh and piffle." Barclay swiftly moved on. "Anyway, reason I called, incepto ne desistam-"

"Oh, I remember this berk!" Julian exclaimed after getting a good look at the man. "Met him at a party fundraiser here back in the day. Rich as Croesus. Loves the sound of his own voice. Which reminds me of a very funny story I heard once on a golf course. Now, there was Brucie - that's Brucie Forsyth-" The ghosts quickly moved away from them. "Guys! Guys, anecdote! Anecdote alert, right in the middle of one."

"Now, it doesn't really affect your grounds inside the gates, but the path outside the gates is on my deed, so, technically, you have to cross a strip of my land every time you enter your house." Barclay explained to the couple.

"Honestly." Lucille tutted at the man. "I remember him. We'll talk when he's gone." She told Alison, turning to head back with the other ghosts. She had met Barclay Beg-Chetwynde many times over the years; the man owned the town around them and was always trying to get something of the house. Clearly it never worked, but Lucille would have loved to punch the stupid grin off his face whilst she was still alive.

"Oh. We had no idea." Mike said.

"It's a simple thing to sort out, but probably worth a quick powwow at some point."

"Yeah, sure. Well, we'll-"

"Maybe you could come to dinner some time?" Alison offered, interrupting Mike.

"Splendid idea! See you at eight."

"I'm free!" Kitty squealed.

"I'll bring a Pelaverga!" Barclay told them, heading to the front door.