Glass & Roses (BBC Ghosts)

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S4E5: Poached Guests

O0o~~o0O

The day started as it usually did in the Button House. The ghosts had all flocked to the kitchen to annoy Alison. This morning, Alison and Mike had been reading through some of their reviews for the B&B (Lucille was still unsure about the B&B on the Button House grounds but it hadn't really been affecting her life within Button House, and it wasn't like she owned house... on accounts of being dead and that), and had found one that had greatly annoyed them both; definitely Mike more than Alison. Lucille was pretty sure Alison's head was about to explode, especially since the ghosts were debating about how to properly brew a tea. Lucille had always preferred tea to coffee, but didn't have too much of an opinion on it (this is a complete and utter lie, her tea had to be made with two sugars and a dash of milk or she wouldn't drink it; in fact she had once emptied a freshly made cup into the sink just to redo it in her preference).

"Nothing to do?! Nothing to do?! Nothing to do?!" Mike repeated, as if the words would get any less absurd if he repeated it over and over. He placed Alison's mug in front of her.

"Thank you." She murmured grabbing the mug with a hand and taking a sip.

"There's tons to do! There's lovely little walks and there's that nice pub down the road."

"That closed down."

"Okay, well... there's still that not-very-nice pub that's a long way away. Okay, not lots to do, exactly, but, like, whatever happened to the great outdoors?" Mike sat down into his seat. "Climb a tree. Hug a tree. Visit.... a... tree." He saw Alison's pained face, thinking it was something to do with his complaining. "Sorry. I'm going on."

"No, no, no." Alison was quick to correct him. "It's the... um." She waved a hand to gesture to the ghosts.

"There's too much milk, if anything!" Pat exclaimed over the other ghosts, pointing at Alison's tea. "It should be the colour of a buff envelope."

"No, no, no." Captain corrected him. "We've been through this. It should be brick red, one lump."

"A slice of lemon and nothing more!" Fanny interjected.

"Well, two lumps, if you're on manoeuvres."

"Or a drop of something stronger, if you get the right tea lady. God, I miss the Commons." Julian suggested, making a pained noise when Lucille shoved him aside. "Watch the suit! God."

"Too much sugar if anything; and much too heavy on the milk." She decided, glaring at the mug like it had personally offended her.

"No, look, come along! It should be brick red!" Captain claimed.

"We've heard. You're just wrong." Pat told him, before pointing a finger at Lucille. "And there is nothing like too much sugar."

"How dare you tell a soldier how to make tea! I don't have to listen to this!" Captain practically stomped away.

"I'm from Yorkshire, mate! I'm practically made of tea!"

"Well, my family-" Fanny looked over at Lucille. "- our family - imported tea, and the correct way to-"

Alison groaned loudly, cutting off what Fanny was saying. "God. Do you lot ever think you maybe spend a little bit too much time in each other's company?"