Glass & Roses (BBC Ghosts)

|xvii|

S3E3: The Woodworm Men

"Help! Help! There be creatures in the house!" Mary screamed as she came rushing out of the house. "Strange men with the heads of flies!" Most of the ghosts laughed at her, but not exactly in a cruel way, and soon quietened down with Lucille's glare.

"Oh, Mary." Thomas sighed.

"We all knew they were coming today!" Julian told her.

"Well, they scared me."

"Everything scare you. Am I right?" Robin said.

"Yeah, it's true. You'd be scared of a teddy bear if it spoke." Julian thought on it. "Actually, that is quite scary, but you know what I mean. You're a scaredy cat."

"What be they?" Mary asked, pointing to the men in hazmat suits.

"Well, they're just woodworm men." Alison told her, walking by.

"Woodworm... men?!" Mary gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

"It's quite alright, Mary. They're just here to protect the house against woodworm, so what happened with that actor fellow doesn't happen again. It's quite important." Lucille explained to the Stuart woman, trying to reassure her. She wasn't quite sure that it was working.

Alison exited the house with her bags in hand. "Well, what are you all doing out here? You don't have to stay out, only me and Mike."

"Did - did the woodworm men banish you?" Mary questioned.

"Well, no... yeah. They're, um... They're fumigating." Alison explained placing her bag down.

"Fumigating?"

"Yeah, it means we can't go back in 'cause if we inhale their mist then we'll... I don't know, like, die or something." Mary gasped, walking off towards the house. "Look, you guys can go back in. I've turned all the pages in your books and the chessboard is on the table."

"Ooh!" 

"I shall miss you." Thomas told her.

"Okay."

"Terribly."

"Thank you." She gave him a look. "The TV's on the movie channel, and Kitty, Grease is on at four. I think you'll love it."

"How lovely!" Kitty squealed. "What time is it now?"

"Oh, nine." Alison said, checking her watch.

"Gosh! I'd better hurry!" She rushed towards the house.

"It'll be nice to have some peace and quiet for once," Fanny said as she and Julian started to head back into the house. "without Michael's popular music blasting on the speakers."

"Hang on, is that a tent?" Pat questioned looking down at her bags.

"Yeah." Pat and Captain looked at each other in shock.

"You're camping?!"

"Yeah, we're camping here."

"Oh, goodness gracious!"

"You sleeping outside by choice?" Robin questioned, not believing what she was saying. 

"Yeah. It'll save us money. Plus, it's fun." Pat gave her a massive thumbs up, clearly excited.

"It fun until a wolf eats your eye."

"Hm?" Captain questioned.

"My cousin."