Youth's Dew

Chapter 8

Pann

Whew! Good thing Karmony told me about the Purity Ring. When Joven talked about giving it to our first child, panic started rising in my chest, then I remembered what to do with the Ring. I'm pretty proud of myself and thinking Joven will be proud of me, right? I mean, surely, he doesn't want a baby right away, we barely know each other.

I'm waiting for the hug, a look of pride that he knows I respect Dewbie traditions. Then, on to the good stuff I've read about in so many romance novels, and heard girls talking about in high school locker rooms or on school buses. I've played it over and over in my mind. The side of me I have long kept quiet, can finally come alive with Joven.

What I'm NOT expecting is for Joven to slowly get up, lean forward and kiss my forehead, then turn and walk to the other side of the bed.

SLAP ME IN A SLINGSHOT!

"Do you mind if I take this side of the bed?" he asks, so casually. What? Where are the kisses? The hugs? Long embraces? The... the... the... you know... the "stuff???"

"Yes, that's fine," I whisper. I'm totally lost and feeling kind of let down. Let down from what? I haven't got a clue, because I've never done this before. I can feel my heartbeat thumping in my stomach, at its new location. Even worse, I can feel tears starting to form in the creases of my eyes. Joven pulls back the covers and gets in bed, so I follow his lead and get in on my side. We both reach at the same time to bring the covers up to our chins. Are things so different down here than in UpAbove? Is he not happy with me? I'm not as sexy as Karmony, but he did choose me after all. I was pretty bad off, oh my goodness, what if he only chose me out of obligation; or as a friend? And I attacked him with a kiss! When we were walking earlier, was he trying to let me know that we would just be roommates with NO benefits?

Joven turns the lights off, from a lamp on his nightstand. Thank goodness he can't see how embarrassed I am, my cheeks are burning and the tears are now starting down my face. This is so NOT what I expected. My first and only marriage, and I've blown it! I can feel the effects of the herbal medicine kicking in, thank goodness, and my body relaxes.

"Wife," Joven says in the dark, still night of our wedding bed. "Can I hold you tonight, please?" he asks, pauses and then asks, "are you crying?" I sniffle, giving myself away.

"Maybe," I whisper quietly, hugging my side of the bed, and thinking maybe I should be sleeping on the couch or at his parents' home. Feeling so useless at this moment, I move closer to the edge almost falling off my side of the bed. The sheets are pulled so tight between us, a man could "walk the line," and possibly fall to his death to the fitted sheets below.

"Wife, never hide your tears from me," and I feel him move his body over towards mine. "Let me hold you at least, please?" he asks again. Honestly, I'm exhausted from the day, the pain in my right hand, the confusion from his reaction to our wedding joining, and the "stuff" that was supposed to be going on right now; that being held would be good. I feel so far away from my comfy couch and tiny studio apartment.

"Yes, Joven, that would be nice," I hear him release his breath, as if he were afraid, I would reject him. Odd, because he just rejected me, didn't he? "I saw the cake on the table, Happy Birthday Joven."

"Thank you, you're the best gift I've ever gotten," is all Joven says then moves to my side of the bed, his hands glide over mine and he has me release my death grip on the blankets. He takes my shoulder and rolls me into his body, making his arm my new pillow. I cuddle in to him, but keep my hands curled into myself. Running his hands through my hair, I hear him saying soothing things and then humming some sweet lullaby, until I know no more and fall asleep. My last thought being, he sure smells way better than the perfume Kim wears.

Dear Diary, my husband is a sexy stud, and all I got was two kisses and a lullaby. I was hoping for "rock me all night long," and instead got "the lion sleeps tonight."

Signed, Depressed in Dewstone.