Tainted Series # 2: The Broken Billionaire (Nathaniel Devon Castillo) COMPLETED

Chapter 39

(Maraming salamat sa inyong patuloy na nag-aabang sa update ko. This story is the one who made me cry a lot. Yong ilang ulit akong nagbago ng mga chapters para lang hindi masyadong masakit para sa akin. I so love Veronica and Nate na feel ko din ang pain nila. Isang chapter na lang matatapos na.)

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"I'm so sorry, Hon..."

Nate is kneeling in front of me, crying like a lost kid. Apologizing over and over something that he didn't do. It's not his fault that Natasha is missing, pero araw-araw itong humihingi ng tawad sa akin sa kasalanang di niya naman ginawa.

It's been five months. Halos halughugin na nila Nathaniel ang buong Pilipinas pero hindi parin mahanap ang anak namin.

"Please stop saying sorry Nate. We both know that it's not your fault." I am controlling my emotion not to have another breakdown. I can't be weak now. Tama si Mommy, hindi lang ako ang nasasaktan dito. Nathaniel loves my daughter so much that even if he's not talking I know he's blaming himself dahil ang tauhan niya ang tumangay sa anak namin.

After that incident where I had my breakdown, I talked to a psychiatrist. I seek for professional to help me cope with the situation. I can't allow depression and anxiety to eat the whole me. I need to be strong for my family, for him and for my Natasha. I have to keep my sanity back.

Hindi ako pwedeng mawalan ng pag-asa. I can feel it in my heart na mahahanap ang ako, maibabalik siya sa amin. I know he and his team and my family are doing their best to find our daughter. Maghihintay ako kahit gaano man ito katagal.

"I-it's my fault..." his voice broke.

I was sitting in the bed looking at him full of tears. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko, it's too painful for me to hear his cries, his sobs and his sufferings. I can't imagine we will reach at this point. I'm broke, he's broke...we're broken. Walang katapusang sakit pero kailangang labanan.

He's at weakest right now and I can't be the same with him. I have to be strong, hindi pwedeng parehas kaming mahina.

"I don't want to see you in pain, Hon. It's my fault, maybe if I distance myself from you and Natasha, your life will not be like this. You will never feel this pain that I brought you an-"

"Stop blaming yourself, Nathaniel. Hindi mo kasalanan...hindi ko kasalanan...walang may gusto." I raised my voice on him. "Babalik si Natasha, babalik ang anak natin."

This past few months hindi na ako masyadong inaatake but lately muli na naman akong bumabalik sa dati. Minsan nagigising akong ng madaling araw dahil parang naririnig ko ang mga iyak ng anak ko. Madalas ko siyang napapanaginipan na umiiyak at tinatawag ang aking pangalan. May mga pagkakataong tumatakbo ako papunta sa silid niya, baka sakaling binalik na nila ang Natasha ko.

"I'm sorry, wife. I just love you so much that it pains me a lot to see you hurting. If I could just take all that pain away, I've done it already."

"We're on this together right?" nagsisimula ng mahulog ang mga luha ko. We're on this together but I need to leave him. It so painful for me to go but I have to do this.   This is the only way to keep me insane. Ito ang payo ng doktor sa akin. I have to leave for now because if not, I will end up crying  and thinking about my daughter the whole day. Baka muli akong bumalik sa dati na tulala at hindi nakakausap ng maayos."

My doctor advised me to make myself busy and stay away from the things that would remind me of my daughter. Kung mananatili ako dito sa mansion, baka tuluyan na akong mabaliw. Bawat sulok na-iimagine ko ang mukha ni Natasha, naririnig ko ang tawa niya, naaalala ko ang kakulitan niya.