My Kidnapper Loved me

~10/20/11~

The next morning I woke up without any clothes on in Ryan's arms, I smiled remembering the events of last night, but my smile soon vanished as I remembered what I had to tell him. I went to get out of bed so I could take a shower but felt Ryan's arms tighten around me, he sat up placing a light kiss on my cheek.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I smiled at his playful behavior.

"I think I'm going to shower."

He nodded his head, I knew the question that was coming next.

"Before you ask, no you cannot join me."

"Damn, was worth a shot."

I shook my head at him.

"No not really."

I stood from the bed picking up his button up shirt from the floor, I put it on and it went just above my knees, I looked at Ryan and I knew what was coming.

"Okay, now you have to let me join you because you put on my shirt and made me very happy."

I ignored him and walked over to my bag grabbing a pair of skinny jeans, a t-shirt, and my black fleece sweatshirt.

"Please."

I ignored him once again walking over to pick up my bra, and a new pair of panties from my bag.

"Ryan showers are my time, I think, I reflect, I relax I can't do that when you're with me."

He nodded his head and I walked into the bathroom, I set down my clothes and turned on the water and let the steam fill the room. I adjusted the temperature removing Ryan's shirt from my already naked body, I stepped into the shower letting the scolding water run down my back and soak my hair. I could feel my muscles relaxing under my skin, I started thinking about what I have to tell Ryan, I won't lie to him, he doesn't deserve that. If he wants a future with me then this is something that he'll have to know. I stood in the shower a little longer just thinking and letting the water relax my body, I soon shut off the water getting out, I got dressed and walked out of the bathroom to see Ryan sitting on the bed already dressed.

"Aren't you gonna take a shower?"

I asked thinking about all the sweat from last night and getting a disgusted look on my face, just from the thought of it, he shook his head at me.

"No, I'll take one when I get home."

I nodded my head walking over to sit next to him.

"You wanna know why we can be together and me not fear getting pregnant?"

"Yeah, a little bit."

I nodded my head and looked up at him, I took a deep breath as he took my hand in his. He gave it a soft reassuring squeeze telling me that it's okay and to take my time.

"When I had Payton it was a natural birth, there were complications that caused me to black out a few hours after she was born. We took her home and I went in for a follow up, the doctor told me that there was too much damage to my uterus. He told me that because of the damage I wouldn't be able to have any more children, Payton would never have a little sibling unless I were to adopt. If you want kids of your own I understand if you want me to leave, I get it, just tell me and I'll pack my things and take Payton."

I looked down and let go of his hand standing from the bed and walked to my bag, I left the room walking to the car. I threw my bag in the trunk and began to walk back to the room I wanted to leave Ryan alone, give him some time to think, to let everything set in. When I got back to the room I closed the door and turned around to see Ryan standing there.