My Kidnapper Loved me

~11/1/11~

Ryan and I haven't talked in a week, I miss him but there's no reason he shouldn't have trusted me with this. I honestly don't give a fuck about the fact that he has money, I love him for him and he should've known that. Now we're on a no talking basis, hell I can't even sleep in the same bed, I've been staying in Payton's room, she doesn't really understand any of this. I simply told her that mommy and daddy are having a hard time and we need some space, she just nodded her head and let me stay with her. Ryan has been working a lot lately and that's fine with me but I do miss him, I miss his voice and how he used to hold me at night. I miss the way he used to tell me he loves me and kiss my forehead, I miss how his lips felt on mine, how they were soft yet rough because they were a little chapped. I missed him but he's gonna be the one to make the first move not me, I did nothing wrong he basically told me he doesn't trust me and that hurts. That hurt me more than all the times Tyler cheated and lied, it hurt more then the times Tyler struck me with his hard callused hands. That hurt is something that'll never go away until he fixes it himself, when Ryan came home he looked at me for the first time in a week.

"Can we talk about this Elena?"

"Yeah."

He nodded his head, we walked into the kitchen, he got something to drink before he looked at me.

"I miss you Elena, I miss your voice, I miss everything about you, I miss you."

"I miss you too Ryan, but that doesn't change the fact that you don't trust me, I trust you with everything, hell Ryan I trust you with my daughter, but you don't trust me and that hurts."

"Elena, It's not that I don't trust you, I was waiting till I was sure that you loved me."

"Oh and me giving myself to you in an intimate way doesn't show that I love you, bullshit Ryan, tell me the truth why didn't you trust me?"

He let out a frustrated groan, running his fingers roughly through his brown hair.

"I was fucked over Elena, that's why I didn't trust you, I loved this girl back when Monte's started to become big. Back when I was making real money, before I bought this house and was just living in a shit apartment. I thought she loved me back, she gave herself to me just like you did, she was a lot like you, except she used me for my money. I thought she was the one till I found out what she was doing, I ended it right then and there, that's why I didn't trust you. However I trust you now and that's all that should matter Elena, I love and trust you enough now no matter how long it took me to get to that point."

I looked down at the ground letting out a deep breath, I looked back up at him as he walked towards me. He placed a hand on my cheek causing me to lean into his touch closing my eyes, placing a soft kiss on his palm.

"I love you Elena, I trust you with my life please believe me."

I nodded my head opening my eyes.

"I love you Ryan, and I trust you I just wish you would have trusted me sooner, like I trusted you the moment I called you that night."

"I know, I'm sorry it was just hard for me, you get that right? Especially when it came to being with me. When it came to trusting guys in general in the way you trust me now, especially after what Tyler did."

I nodded my head looking at him.

"I get it Ryan, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, I love you Elena."

Before I could say I love you, his lips were on mine, I melted into him, missing this so much, missing him so much. I felt his hands travel down my body stopping at the back of my upper thigh, he lifted me from the floor and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me upstairs never removing his lips from mine, when we got to our room he leaned his back against the door pushing the button to lock it in case Payton were to wake up. He walked over to the bed gently laying me down, hovering over me, he soon pulled away so we could catch our breaths, Ryan looked at me for a moment.