I can't love a blackhawk

Decisions, decisions, decisions

How do you react to something like that? Just so blunt and to the point then to just hang up? What the fuck does he expect me to do...

"Kels what happened?" Beau asked shaking my arm. I don't know. Am I okay? Do I tell him what just happened? What the actual fuck man!

"Um yeah I'm fine it was just my mom and it was unexpected ya know?" I can't tell him. I can't tell anyone yet. I don't even know how I want to handle it. 

"Yeah I get it. My mom calls me before random games and it always throws me off cause i always thinks something's wrong back home." Beau said with a reassuring smile. He's so great. Why can't I fall for a guy like him. Why Jonathan? Why someone who would cheat on me with his ex just because things got a little upsetting. It's stupid why I can't be in love with Beau right now. He's so perfect. 

"Come on Kels, let's go get your Pandora charm." He said as he draped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in the direction of the Pandora store. 

Half an hour later we finally got out of Pandora with much much more then just one small charm. Apparently Beau and Sid had gotten a charm customized for me. It was a dangle charm that was of course the Pittsburgh Penguins and with their hockey numbers on it. It was gorgeous nonetheless. But Beau had also insisted on buying me some more jewelry. So I now have 2 other charms added to my bracelet: a princess charm and a hockey skate. But I also have a princess ring and silver snowflake necklace. Don't get me wrong I love all of it but it was just too much to spend on jewelry. 

We walked around the mall for a little while longer untl we decided to finally call it quits. I really enjoyed my trip here to Pittsburgh. I don't want to leave. It sucks so much. Once I get home real life starts again. I have to start my classes for the new semester and I'm staying online cause I don't want to worry about credit transfers. Not to mention I start babysitting my cousin tomorrow and Ruby is starting her new job tomorrow as well so it's just going to be a day filled with new beginnings. It's going to be such a crazy first day back. But honestly there's a part of me that's excited to be back. I miss Ruby, Patrick and the guys. But most of all I really do miss Jonathan, I just don't know what to do. I love him but how am I supposed to put myself back into that position, I don't know if I can trust him again. 

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"Kels do you have to go?" Sid said while we got my bags out of the car. I decided instead of flying I was going to take the Greyhound home. It was cheaper and a longer ride so I had more time to decide what to do with a certain hockey captain that I'm trying to avoid completely.

"Yes Sid. I have to go. I have to start on my school work. Semester break is over and I need to get back to it. Plus I miss my cousins and I start babysitting them this week. Plus I told you what happened with you know who, I need to handle it sooner or later." I had told both Sidney and Beau about the phone call after the mall. I needed advice, but being guys, they sucked at it. Beau said fuck it yolo. Sid said fuck Chicago move here. 

"Ugh! Kels I don't want you to leave though...." Beau said grabbing my brand new duffle filled with all of the new clothes that were purchased on this trip. 

"I know you don't want me to but I have to. Come visit anytime though guys! I'll be at the game against you guys in a couple weeks and I'll be sure to take you guys out after. I pinky swear." I said wrapping both my pinkies around both Beau and Sid's. 

"I guess we have to let you go. Just be careful kid. Don't do something you don't want to do. Follow your heart, but don't do it like a dumbass." Sidney said as he hugged me. Giving Beau one last hug I grabbed my carry on bag, gave the driver my ticket to Chicago and got on the bus. This was going to be one long trip, but I feel like it won't even compare to what's waiting fo rme when I get home and I'm going to be completely honest.....I'm terrified.