Behind a Mask

CHAPTER 13

Zay’s POV

Hindi ako pumasok ngayon dahil napagod ako kagabi at naintindihan naman iyon ni Tita. Wala din ako sa mood para pumasok. Naligo nalang ako saka nagsuot ng black ripped jeans and white crop top paired with white sneakers. I'm going somewhere just to get out of here. Tsk!

I heard a knock on the door but I prefer to ignore it. I know it's him. Tsk!
I heard a footsteps going inside of my room.

"Zay..."
Hindi ako kumibo.

"I know that you're mad." He said.
"Can we talk?"

Talk?
Do you think it's a good idea?

"I'm sorry."
Sorry? Tsk!

Kaumay.

"Get out." I said coldly, not looking at him.

"Zay, I'm sorry. I know that I'm too much but..."

Hindi ako umimik at nanatili lang na nakatingin sa phone ko.

"You know my reason, Zay." He said to me. "You know why I'm being like this."

I just laugh sarcastically on what he said saka ko siya malamig na tiningnan.

"Alam mo din bang nakakasakal ka na?" malamig na sabi ko na nakapagpabago ng ekspresyon niya.
Shock with sadness and pain.

Yes, I knew why he's being like that. I knew that he just want to protect me, to take me away from what had happened in the past pero naiisip din ba niya kung nasisiyahan ako sa ginagawa niya?

Pinapakita lang niya na wala siyang tiwala sakin. What is the significance of his motivations kung ganyan lang din naman siya?

"I-I'm sorry." He just said saka napayuko. I just wished realization will hit him. Tsk.

I did my very best para sa school. I forced myself to act kahit hindi ako marunong pero ginawa ko parin para sa school at dahil iyon din ang gusto niya. I tried so hard kahit nahihirapan na ako dahil iyon naman ang gusto niyang parusa diba? Ang mahirapan ako para matuto ako. Sinakripisyo ko ang sarili ko kahit nagmumukha na akong tanga para magtagumpay lang but what? Malalaman ko nalang na ganiyan.

I'm so much disappointed. Kinausap kami ng ibang judges last night and they're so amazed on us. They're also expecting na kami ang mananalo. Even the Dean of the crowned candidates said that to us. Hindi daw nila alam kung bakit kami natalo.

Okay lang sana sa akin na natalo kami eh. Ang hindi ko lang matanggap ay ang may kinalaman si Zayne doon. Pinacheck ko ang scores ng mga judges sa secretary ni Tita at doon ko nalaman ang lahat. Kay Zayne kami may pinakamababang score.

"I thought we'll succeed because we did our very best. I did my very best." I paused, still not looking at him.

"But you just dismissed all what we'd sacrificed like a stinky trash." I said as a tear escaped from my eye.

Ang bigat lang sa dibdib. Ang sama ng loob ko dahil sa ginawa niya. Lahat ng isinakripisyo ko, my personality and dignity—I sacrificed it all kahit nahihirapan na ako just for that fucking pageant but he just dismissed it like a trash. Itinapon niya lang ng basta-basta not knowing how I worked hard for that! Not knowing na ilang sermon ang natatanggap ko galing kay Madam V. in our every training, na ilang beses ako umulit sa pag rampa, na ilang butil ng pawis ang sinayang ko—He didn't know! He didn't know how I forced myself just to do that dahil iyon ang kagustuhan niya! Ang pinakapesteng parusa niya na ginawa ko tapos sasabihin niya, 'sorry'?
Anong kayang gawin ng sorry niya?