"friends" being Can-Can, Germs, and Pol
Characters: America, Russia, Germany, Poland, Canada
America: LOWER CASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS
Russia: And here we have a capitalist
Poland: did you just...
Germany: let us just appreciate how the entire world, universe, and the English language in general cooperated to make this joke possible
~~~
Germany: Okay, nobody panic, but I think I'm beginning to doubt myself.
~~~
Germany, staring emotionally at old photographs hanging in the hallway: Have you ever stopped to look at these... these faces from the past?
Germany: They're not so different from you, really. They had dreams like you do. They had ambitions. But now... they're gone.
Germany: Dead.
Germany: Dust.
America: That's my uncle Wales, third from the left. He's not dead.
Russia: Shh!
America: He's only fifty four!
Russia: Quiet!
~~~
Germany: America, you have a lot to offer. you're funny, you're smart
Poland: you're creative, you've got style
Russia:
Russia: oh, did you want me to say something? uh, you wear sunglasses. your name is America
America: thanks, Russia
~~~
Poland: Why does everyone think I'm the cute one??
Germany: Aww
Poland, holding a knife: I could murder someone right now!
Germany, Russia, and America: Awwwww
Poland, holding the knife and pouting: I can be scary...
Germany, Russia, America, and the rest of the world: Awwwww
~~~
Poland: I'M TIRED OF EVERYONE SEEING ME AS A BABY! I'm not a child. I'm a smart, independent individual!
Germany:
Germany, to America: What are we supposed to say? He is so innocent...
America: Give him your gummy bears. That way he'll stop complaining and speaking.
Poland: HEY! I'M RIGHT HE-
Germany: Shush. Do you want the gummy bears or not?
Poland: THIS IS N-
Germany: Do you want them or not?
Poland: ...I do.
Germany, handing Poland the gummy bears: There you go.
Poland, with his mouth completely full: Dis poves nofinn
~~~
Russia: *punching the walls*
Germany: What is he doing??
Poland: I don't know?! I just said "Hi, there!" And he started freaking out. Did I say something wrong?
Russia, still punching the walls: SO- FUCKIN- ADORABLE- ARRGHH
~~~
Poland: *eating a cinnamon roll*
America: Cannibalism.
Poland: *innocent, confused chewing*
~~~
America: You've got some pretty nice arms Russia
Russia: ...really?
America: Yeah, and I think they'd look even better wrapped around my--
Poland: wRAPPED AROUND A BIBLE PRAISE THE LORD
~~~
Russia: oh god my boyfriend isn't home and I forgot the English word for this thing and it's bAd he usually helps but I cAN'T
Germany: I can help?
Russia: you know that little sea bug with the stupid hands and it has a home but it changes homes because sometimes it gets too big for it? What is it???
Poland: hermit crab?
Russia: THATS THE BITCH
~~~
Germany: I lost my glasses.
America: *notices them on his head* I'll help you find them for five dollars
Canada: they're on your head.
Germany: oh, thanks Canada!
America: *hisses* Canada, why did you do that? I was about to make a profit!
~~~
America: Our bodies are around 70% water, right?
Germany: Yeah, that sounds right.
America: So, theoretically, if I stopped drinking water and only drank milk, would the water be replaced, hence making me 70% milk?
Germany:
America: Y'know, theoretically.
Germany: What the fuck?
~~~
Germany: Sorry, I can't join you. I have plans to spiral into uncontrollable anxiety starting in the early evening and ending at roughly 3am
~~~
America: They make take our lives,
America: But they'll never take our Netflix subscription
Canada, to Germany: that's his way of saying he wants the remote.
~~~
Canada: snowflakes are like people. No two are exactly the same and each one is unique
Russia: and if too many of them pile up on the road it's hard to drive
~~~
America: Do you guys dare me to kiss Russia?
Canada: ...no?
America: Haha I cannot believe you dared me to kiss Russia on the lips
Germany: We never said that.
America: Bye bye I'm off to do my dare! Oh Ruski~!
~~~
Interviewer: So, what do you suppose are your three best qualities?
America: I'm gay, I have soft hair and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.
YOU ARE READING
CountryHumans Incorrect Quotes
Fanfictionyeah uhm.... enjoy some skits, as me and my friends call them. I don't even know what characters are gonna be in here so.... hope it's good! Updates are slow but they will happen!! Also Disclaimer I don't support any of the bad things in this book i...
