America: My brother insists I eat healthy but the moment he's gone its sprinkles for lunch
Canada: If you don't eat something nutritious so help me-
America: I am more than the ring pops I eat for dinner!
Canada: PLURAL?
America: Oops
~~~
Australia: I won't let anyone hurt you.
New Zealand: YOU'RE THE REASON I'M INJURED
Australia: Listen I saw you in a dingo costume and I acted on instinct.
~~~
Australia: Go fish! :D
America: This is uno
Australia: Well frick :D
~~~
New Zealand: Bad news, Canada knows everything that America knows. Good news, America doesn't know jack shit
~~~
Canada: I'm making dinner tonight, you should come over
America: Okay sure yes
Canada: I'm making spaghetti and meatballs
America: Swaghetti and memeballs
Canada: You are uninvited
America: That's fair
~~~
Australia: Well, well, well. If it isn't my old friend, the slowly dawning realization that I've messed up horribly.
~~~
Canada: THERE'S A SPIDER!
America: What do you want me to do?
Canada: KILL IT!
America: You kill it!
Canada: NO, YOU KILL IT!
Australia: *Taking the spider in his hands* C'mere little one.
Canada and America:
~~~
New Zealand: I'm thinking of switching professions
America: what profession are you thinking about?
New Zealand: geology
America:
America: I swear to god if you say "because it rocks" i want you to get out
New Zealand: understood I'm going to leave
~~~
Canada: where are you going?
America: depends
America: when I die, im probably going to hell
America: but right now I'm going to the bathroom
~~~
Australia: lowkey, nobody likes you
America: highkey, that makes me feel like shit
~~~
Australia: Okay, but like... say something inappropriate. I bet you can't.
Canada: yes I can!!
Australia: okay then do it
Canada: ....butts...
~~~
Canada: Congratulations. You three have just won gold, silver, and bronze in the Moron's Olympics.
America:
New Zealand:
Australia:
America: ...Who won gold?
~~~
America: Australia figured out he can put sticky notes on people's backs
America: He doesn't know they're supposed to say stuff like "kick me" though, so they have animal facts on them instead
~~~
America: Smart is attractive, and I want to be attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Australia: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
America: Stop.
~~~
Australia, playing with his spider Melbourne: Aww! Look how cute he is!
Canada, standing on top of a table with a frying pan in his hands, ready to strike if it dare come near: Adorable.
~~~
America: I am 34 Cheetos tall
New Zealand: ..Why are you measuring yourself in Cheetos?
America: We were out of Doritos.
~~~
Australia: Did you know if corals get stressed out, they die.
Canada: What would a coral even be stressed about?
America: Current events.
New Zealand: I hate this conversation
~~~
Canada: wait, so you walk around carrying packets of ketchup on you to simulate your own blood?
Australia: of course
Australia: what if I die?
~~~
New Zealand: is this...garlic?
America: yeah
New Zealand: why are you putting garlic in your pants?
America: so that Dracula won't eat my ass
New Zealand: why would Dracula eat your ass?
America: he won't—the garlic— Are you even listening?
~~~
Canada: what is your self-care routine?
America: saying "keep going bitch" to myself in different accents
~~~
Australia: I'm a father
New Zealand: this is a spider
Australia, cupping his hands around the spider: he is my lovely child
~~~
America: what's the medical name for the urge to do something stupid and reckless
New Zealand:
Canada:
Australia: no idea, but I'm sure it's transmittable because now I have it too
YOU ARE READING
CountryHumans Incorrect Quotes
Fanfictionyeah uhm.... enjoy some skits, as me and my friends call them. I don't even know what characters are gonna be in here so.... hope it's good! Updates are slow but they will happen!! Also Disclaimer I don't support any of the bad things in this book i...
