Queer 'n Crazy (Sanders Sides Human! Au)

Chapter 51

Hello, fellow fanders! 

Alright so I had this chapter written but then my house went through some wifi related issues so I couldn't get this up. Sorry for the wait!

CW: slight mention of panicky dissociation-y thoughts, self deprecation, abandonment issues, mentions of food, medication and side effects, I think that's it.

.................

Virgil was sitting on his bed when it happened. 

Logan had been flitting around the room, doing typically Logan-y things. Usually Virgil would be watching him, a habit he'd picked up on after their nearly-but-not-really confession. At first he'd been worried about judgement, but Logan with his somehow analytical but still emotionally unaware observation had realised Virgil enjoyed watching him, and assured him that it was a fine thing to do. 

Sometimes when he was overwhelmed he would sit on his bed with his weighted blanket, headphones in and watch Logan organise his bookshelf for the umpteenth time or study. The way the boy was repetitive about his motions allowed Virgil to pick up on little habits, like how he twirled his pen between his fingers between pages or tended to push down on paper a bit harder when he was trying to write neatly.

But luckily he wasn't overwhelmed currently, despite the numerous attempts his brain had made at finding something to panic about. He was sprawled out on his bed with his headphones on, one leg straight and the other bent, watching a youtube video. 

Patton had recently gotten him a popsocket which had eased his anxiety over dropping his phone. A small circle with ears and with a sticker from of that one cat from Alice in Wonderland.

While he was focusing on the video -- somebody assembling a miniature dollhouse -- he could still make out the navy-clad shape of Logan moving around in his perepheral vision. Every so often his eyes would flick back to him, before returning to his video. 

So far the guy on screen had an actually gorgeous house inspired by animal crossing and was now making a styrofoam base for it. Virgil was being mesmerised by resing being shaped into a river when he felt something heavy being pressed gently to his head.

A few months ago he would have frozen, but now slightly more accostomed to casual touch, he just half-froze, and glanced up at Logan with a raised eyebrow. The other boy mimiked his expression, but withdrew his hand slightly.

"Is that okay?"

Virgil simply grabbed Logan's hand and rested it back on his hair, ignoring the almost jackrabbiting of his heart. The stared at his screen without fully seeing, overly focused on the small exhale-y chuckle that Logan had let out. 

His fingers were long and cold with blunt nails that scratched Virgil scalp gently every few seconds. Virgil's hair wasn't often messed with, apart from being blow dried after a shower, so he felt hyper-aware of the way Logan's hand flipped the roots in unfamiliar directions and sweeped his fringe out of his eyes.

It was... nice. Calming, even. His brain let out little bursts of dopamine every time a lock was flipped or a bump was run over by slightly firm finger pads. Virgil knew from experience that Logan loved winter, but his hands reminded Virgil of a lazy summer heat that made time slow down and air still. The way that Virgil would look out the window sometimes and see the world bathed in gold and wonder whether he could stay in this moment forever.

Ignoring the small part of his brain that told him to stay vigilant! He shifted back slightly to rest his head against Logan's thigh, not quite on top of it but close enough for it to feel hyper-intimate. Virgil felt Logan stiffen unnoticably before melting, and ruffling his hair with a little more energy. He glanced up and saw blue eyes uncode his unsaid are you okay? and reply with of course.