Us And Them {A YiZhan Fanfiction}✔️

An Unwanted Reappearance

Insecurities, we all have them. The greater the stakes, the more our hearts and minds are plagued with those pesky feelings, which more often than not hold us back from reaching out and grabbing what's right there. Insecurities that wrap around our minds and stop us from taking the next step.

Having reached this point in this story, you must have already understood where we are headed. Yes, it's the complex, sometimes illogical, and other times logical domain of insecurities.

Yibo and Zhan both have insecurities. (Zhan being more careful about what others think of him has more reasons for being insecure than Yibo) Well, I don't blame them. Both hadn't tasted much success despite being in the entertainment industry for more than half a decade. Yes, it's completely unfair to judge them as such since both of them had not entered the industry as 'actors' like their counterparts. Then there is the fact that more often than not, 'idol actors' are labeled as wooden even before they have had a chance to flex their acting muscles.

Now, for such actors who were at the threshold of what could be 'THE break' they had been looking for, it would naturally be a problem if it were to be revealed that they were anything but heterosexual. The sad fact is that sometimes even lovers of BL are not above homophobia when it is revealed that their idols/celebrity crushes are not heterosexual.

Zhan is aware that the country where he has to earn his living is not supportive of alternate sexuality. Is it any surprise that getting attracted to his costar was causing him apprehension? Was feeling insecure about his future and reputation not understandable? No, absolutely not.

Moving on.

Zhan has a mini-mental breakdown at Yibo's reply, with good reason. After all, he had accidentally exposed the thing (his feelings) that he wanted to hide the most.

"I am coming inside," Zhan warns, twisting the doorknob, totally unaware of the effect his words have on the latter.

Yibo's heart mimics his Gege's.

Can you blame the poor lad? After all, he had been imagining them coming inside each other...I mean expressing their feelings for each other, in various kinky...I mean imaginative ways.

Wait. Where was I!? Oh yes, Zhan was coming...I mean entering their room.

Yibo steps ways and lets Zhan in before swiftly closing the door. He stops the older with a hand on his shoulder and swirls him around. Now face to face, Yibo looks at the latter questioningly, hoping that the other will finally acknowledge his feelings. But unfortunately, Zhan keeps staring at him, looking ashamed yet mute.

"Zhan ge, I said that I heard you. Don't you have anything to say to me?" Yibo demands in the same breathy voice as earlier. He steps closer, "Are you going to act like it was not you but Wei Ying that said those words?" Yibo's tone borders on sarcasm.

"Yibo laoshi!" Zhan's eyes widen. He feels hurt and angry as the understanding of what Yibo was insinuating dawns on him.

"Tell me, Zhan laoshi, was it you or him?" Yibo steps closer still, but Zhan holds his ground. He meets Yibo's angry gaze with his calm ones and decides to come clean. After all, how long could Zhan keep his heart under wraps? How much longer could he pretend that there was nothing between them? His denial of accepting his feelings had landed him in trouble already, and with his career and future at stake, he had to make sure that his alternate personalities did not hamper what he had worked so hard to achieve.

Zhan takes a deep breath and steps away. He places his hand on Yibo's cheek; it makes the younger flinch.
'He is going to pretend to be JZhan.' He concludes; his heart sinks. He had really wanted to have a proper heart-to-heart with his Zhan ge, but it looked like that wasn't...