Us And Them {A YiZhan Fanfiction}✔️

A Dreamlike 'Reality'

Sometimes it's better to lie to oneself and others than to admit things that make us uncomfortable or things we want to hide...things we are not ready to accept.
Sometimes the truth can be so hard to swallow that coming up with a lie looks like a better option.
Why is that?
Because we are not ready physically or emotionally to accept the truth and we are scared of how the truth will effect us and those around us... So we hide...we hide it from others and hide it from ourselves.

Now you guys are wondering why I am writing about these things... Trust me it will make sense once we continue where we left off.

Xiao Zhan's heart is beating really fast. It had been beating really fast since his lips had landed on Yibo's.

Xiao Zhan, who is a very straight man doesn't understand why he had accepted the challenge... why had he kiss YiBo?

'I could have ignored him... I could have pretended to get offended and left... I...I should have left... I should not have kissed him like that... And as if once was not enough...I did it twice...I crossed a line... How must he have felt??? With me attacking him like that...I went there to fix things....Fuck!'

Zhan knows he is not homophobic and Yibo was obviously teasing him. Then why did Zhan who is a very mature and well adjusted man want to prove to the man child that he was not Homophobic!

'Why do I feel uncomfortable every time YiBo calls me Laoshi? Why did I want him to call me Zhan ge? Why did that hickey on his neck bother me? Why is my heart still racing?' Zhan thinks to himself before changing into his black satin pyjamas.

He sits on the bed and tries to calm himself.
'He had definitely been with someone before I arrived. Who could it have been? How irresponsible of them to mark him like that. The girl should have been careful.'
Zhan's mind supplies him with images of how YiBo had looked when he had opened the door.

'Does he work out... He must work out... I could clearly see his abs... BEAUTIFUL... Wait what!!!!?'

Zhan runs to the bathroom and washes his face.
'What am I thinking... What is wrong with me?'
'Why did he moan when I had kissed him???'.... 'He didn't moan you dumbass, he winced because you slammed him against the wall....Fuck!'...'Why didn't he stop me?'....'Because you didn't give him a chance you pervert!'...'Why did I keep kissing him...His lips... His jaw... His neck... SOFT... BEAUTIFUL...fuckfuckfuckfuck!'

Zhan looks at himself in the mirror. His face is flushed his breathing is laboured like he had just run a marathon.
'He is not Lan Zhan! You are not Wei Ying... You are not gay!!!!' Zhan's brain  voices it's thoughts.

He wipes his face and walks out.
He tries to fall asleep but sleep eludes him.
He takes out his phone and looks at the pictures of his latest celebrity crush 'Yang Mi'

'She is the perfect girl. I wish I could take Mark Chau's place in Ten miles of peach blossoms. She truly is a goddess amongst us mortals.' Zhan thinks swiping through the pictures one by one.

After going through all the photos Zhan feels his heart again.
'It's racing... I am afterall a straight man...no straight man can keep a calm heart in front of such magnificent beauty.' Zhan thinks smiling to himself.

You see Zhan has either totally forgotten that there is something called as being bisexual or it's probably uncomfortable for him to think about it. Either way Zhan doesn't want to think about that possibility.

He sets the alarm for 6.00 am and holds a pillow and tries to fall asleep.

He doesn't fall asleep.