damaged (Lauren/you)

chapter 21

y/n's pov-

I came to live with ally, just over a year ago.

It's mine and Laurens one year tomorrow, we still haven't come out as a couple.

Lauren would always push the date back saying she was not ready and she doesn't want to deal with the hate...

I can see where she's coming from but I'm getting sick of hiding us...

the tour finished a while back but we are now on another tour...

my career took off thanks to that youtube channel, I now have my first album out.

it feels good, not only am I starting my future, I don't need to rely on anyone to help me pay for things.

I was sitting backstage waiting while the girls get their makeup done.

Lauren was finished first so she came and sat with me, we were currently cuddled up on the sofa. my head was on her chest as she played with my hair.

but the peaceful moment was ruined by her pushing me off of her when the door was opened.

"The first opening act just finished, so you'll be on in 20!" the worker said before he left the room but not before he gave me a weird look for being on the floor.

once he had left, Lauren held out her hand to help me up. but I completely ignored it and sat a decent distance away from her.

this isn't the first time this has happened, actually, it isn't even the first time today.

"baby... I'm sorry, come on I only have 20 minutes to cuddle," she whines trying to move closer but I move away keeping a straight face.

"Lauren... about tomorrow... it's our one year what you probably know...i-" I start but before I could even say what I wanted to she cut me off.

"Oh. I'm sorry baby, we have interviews tomorrow then another concert."

"no, I understand that's not what I want to talk about, um... I'm done hiding... I can't do it anymore. and I know you worried about what people think and the fans but. I can't just pretend I'm just a friend around everyone but the girls! your parents don't even know! I can't do it anymore! I have bruises all over my body from moments like just now!" I say as I stand up and walk around.

once I'm finished I turn to see her looking at me with no emotion. before she can say anything ally pokes her head in.

"we're on in 5 so finish up Lauren then get your butt to the meeting spot." she then walks off closing the door behind her.

"y/n, I'm not ready to come out, the fans might hate me! look ill try to be more gentle and aware.. but if you can't do this for me maybe we should end it... make a decision and tell me when I'm done with the show..." she then walks out.

I just stand there, in shock... I can't do this... I need a break from all of this.

I run out of the venue and into the tour bus, I quickly pack a small suitcase full, I grab my backpack and throw my purse, songbook, and other small things into it.

I write a letter to the girls and Lauren, telling them that I've left for a while and I don't know when ill be back but I'm safe.

I place the letter on the table before calling an uber and waiting for it to arrive.

as I'm helping the driver put my bags and guitar case in the truck I can hear big rob calling my name.

I look back to see him looking around, realizing he hasn't seen me yet I get into the backseat.