Dear Janet, You're Ugly

What We Could Have Been

Janet's POV

Flashback

I remember what it was like to be a young girl with no clue where I was going next. From one home to the next, I always had to be ready for the unexpected. I carried around a single backpack that held a pair of pajamas and one pair of socks. The clothes on my back would suffice for the time being, until I was allowed a fresh new pair of clothes.

My childhood had been bittersweet, like a fruit that wasn't quite ready to ne picked. I had only ever been alone with no one to guide me. I remember how I would stare blankly at the white walls. I had to wait in an office where children would come and go and all you could hear were the tears of children ripped away from all they had ever known.

And all I had was a single golden locket wrapped around my pale neck. It was the last thing I had left of Mrs. Dough Berry the first woman who had taken me in. She had cared for me as no one else had and when she died a piece of me did too.

I didnt think I would ever feel as if I belonged. I was constantly reminded of how unwanted and ugly I was. It was until Ms. Freckles took me in that I had developed tougher skin. And while my childhood hadn't always been the best the sweet moments were the ones that made it bearable.

Erin

He had been the missing puzzle piece to my story. Where we were young and dumb and we could care less of what the world had to say. I remembered how he would look at me as if I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. And at that moment, I felt it... I felt beautiful and he made me believe it too.

I remember how we sat on the grassy floor. Our clothes were covered in heaps of mud because Erin wanted to take me on an adventure. We sprawled our bodies against the floor as we rambled excitedly because we didn't think the moment would ever end.

He grasped my hand in his and squeezed ever so gently. As if he knew it would be the last time we would be like that. He looked as if he had been lost in translation. Like he couldn't choose to be here and present with me or be thinking of the future.

"What's wrong," I asked as he looked out into the far distance deep in thought. He hadn't noticed the way I had been staring him down for the past two minutes. How I watched as he combed his dark hair back for the fifteenth time.

"It's nothing" he replied with a forced smile. I knew he was holding something back but was afraid to tell me the truth. Rather than pressure him I squeezed his chubby hand once more.

"I'm here if you need to talk Erin". That was all I could say in hopes that it would comfort him a bit. A soft breeze brushed my dark hair back exposing my marked face for all to see.

But even then Erin never looked away. It never fazed him. I never felt the need to hide from him because it was always that simple with him. " Your beautiful Janet, never forget it"

Only I had forgotten. My beauty had only become more tainted as I grew older and alone without him by my side.

That day I vowed to myself that my main goal was to get to California. It would always be my goal no matter what but I never thought I would be the one to leave him behind.