Dear Janet, You're Ugly

Surprised Visit

Janet's POV

There she stood with a friendly smile. She had accompanied Erin when I first saw him in the hallway. Her dark hair was curled to perfection, her almond shaped eyes reminded me of a friend I had lost moments ago. I wondered how she found this place?

Although Ms. Freckles shop was a quite popular some people weren't aware it existed. Mostly kids from middle school would show up and grab a snack. They'd goof around for hours until I'd have to chase them out to go home.

"Hey, your Janet right"? She asked with a warm smile. She was short compared to me, I hadn't at all expected her to talk to me of all people. I gently nodded my head suddenly feeling unable to speak.

"Are you free? I wanted to maybe talk to you......". In that moment a bunch of lies swirled in my head. I could come up with a lie, a great one, something that would get her to leave. But a part of me was curious as to what she would say.

"I've got break in the next five minutes. You can wait for me at a booth" I suggested and she politely thanked me. She grabbed a booth near the back of the cafe. It was my favorite spot actually, it was the farthest booth in the shop and lots of people refused to sit there.

I took my time wiping down the counter and tables. Even restocking the napkins and straws. Every now and then I'd sneak a look over at her, as she quietly typed something on her phone. I sighed deeply grabbing two muffins, it was now or never.

I slowly made my way towards the booth. Clearing my throat, she teared her eyes away from her phone. "Oh have a seat"! She quipped pointing to the seat across from her.

Rather reluctantly I placed both muffins on the table and got comfortable in the seat. "I... uh.. got you a muffin... I wasn't sure what you liked so I chose blueberry".

She took a small bite out of the muffin and placed it back down. "Oh no worries! This is absolutely delicious" she beamed with a wide smile. I took a bite out of own muffin, my tongue greeting the warm soft dough. I loved Ms. Freckles muffins, they were always the first to run out.

"So what did you want to talk to me about"? I asked getting straight to the point. She folded her hands together, eyes going wide.

"Oh right! Well I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Amy, Amy Cosmo... I'm Erin's half sister" she held out her hand for me to shake.

So she's not his girlfriend then...

I shook her hand as she squeezed mine rather firmly. "Ya know Erin has talked alot about you. He was so excited that he was finally able to come back! You were literally all he talked about since he came to live us".

I gulped deeply looking out the window. I felt a slight pressure in my chest mixed with the feeling of guilt. I had thought he forgot about me, that he no longer wanted anything to do with me. I lived with that thought everyday and to hear that I had been wrong... I  felt...

Like complete shit

"I'm glad we were able to even come! Our dad wasn't very happy about it, but luckily Erin was able to convince him" she continued on now looking out the window as well. "He always wondered why you never reached out to him, he tried looking for you too but of course he failed" she chuckled lightly.

The guilt felt a never ending pit. I suddenly started to feel a headache coming on. "I...um I have to get to work, it was nice meeting you" I stand up getting ready to leave when she said one last thing.

"He really missed you Janet"

That night I layed awake while the never ending guilt ate away at my soul. He really missed you Janet those words kept repeating in my head. A part of me had missed him too, a part of me had always wanted him to return. But there was always that feeling that got in the way.

The feeling of anger

The feeling of being alone again

Being alone had become my bestfriend. It was the only thing I could count on, I didn't have to worry about anyone leaving because I had myself. After Erin had left it became something I had to accept. As I moved from foster home to foster home I had no one I could run to.

I could have begged him to stay, begged him to take me with him. But we were kids at the time, there wasn't alot he could have done anyway. But anger still lingered in my heart, it was like a never ending reminder.

He left you Janet... he left you for rhe wolves. He didn't even beg to stay with you longer... he just left. He left you to deal with the Greco triplets and Millie Anderson. Don't trust him, don't believe a word he says... because if he truly cared

Would he have left you in the first place?

My mind couldn't help but to conjure such thoughts. But it had gave me a sufficient enough reason to keep him away. Even if he had been miles away he still had this hold on me I couldn't quite decipher. Thinking those thoughts made it easier to forget him, to forget the memories we created together.

It had been a tough few years without him. But if I was to make it I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. I had to stop caring about what could have been had he had stayed with me. And although it was nice to think about what could have happened if he stayed.

It wasn't the reality

The reality was that he had left me all alone. And the reality is that I had to let him go.