Dear Janet, You're Ugly

You Remind Me of Me

Janet's POV

Gathering the odd envelope off the ground I opened the front door. I quickly made my way to my room locking the door. I heaved a huge sigh as I sat on my desk chair with the crisp white envelope in my hands. I mentally tried to prepare myself as I mindlessly traced the cursive letters with a fingertip.

I traced the curvature of the envelope, stalling for time.

There was this lingering fear in the back of my mind that the letter could have been from the foster center. They sent letters now and again to check up on me and would stop by to "investigate".

With a lasting deep breath, I opened the envelope, the crisping of the material caving in. I pulled out a crisp white piece of paper first. It was a letter written to me and I silently began to read it.

Dear Janet,

I am sorry to have reached out of the blue like this. But I had to know if you were real. This may seem strange and I will explain in due time. I never knew of your existence at all, because your mother and I went our separate ways. All these years later I would have never thought she would have given me a gift. The gift of fatherhood. I know it may seem I have abandoned you.

How can that be so when I knew nothing of you? I have remarried again and have a family of my own. I would like to explain what happened and how I found you if you are up to it. I will not pressure you but please know we all want to meet you.

Your sisters want to meet you. More importantly, as your father, I would love to be apart of your life. I have left my phone number and email should you reach out to me. All that I ask is that you think about it.

With love,
your father Hardin Velour,

I felt the slight sensation of pain in my chest. My vision began to blur and a ringing in my ears ringed loudly. I was no longer here, at this moment, no I was elsewhere. My chest heaving up and down, sweat cascaded my forehead like a crown. I gently combed my hair back roughly tugging on the brown locks.

How?

How could any of this be possible? My whole life had been me living in and out of foster homes. I felt a slight shiver rock up and down my joints. My hands shook uncontrollably as I paced myself. I counted slowly to 25 focusing on my breathing.

My heart felt as if it would tumble out of my chest. With a shaking hand, I pressed it against my chest soothing the ache. Clawing away at my skin I knew would bruise.

By the time I got to 20 my breathing had slowed a bit. I reached for the bottle of water that I kept on my desk. The cooling sensation of liquid traveled down my throat into my esophagus and then entered the pit of my stomach.

None of this made sense. I slouched against the chair, the aching of my muscles screaming out of pain. My vision slowly came back, I focused my gaze on the yellow lamp that sat on my desk.

I heard the front door unlock loudly and then close. "Janet I'm home" Ms. Freckle yelled stirring me away from my thoughts. I hid the letter inside the desk drawer before leaving my room.

A bunch of brown bags sat on the kitchen counter. I began helping Ms. Freckles unpack the bags. "I was thinking of making Lasagna for dinner" she chirped with a beaming smile. Her cheeks were red and plump from the cold weather.

I grunted in reply putting away the rest of the groceries. It wasn't long before I began chopping some onions to go in the lasagna. Ms. Freckle had. been chatting my ear off while I was in a completely different world.

"Ya know that Erin boy is quite handsome. Seems like he is quite fond of you" She teased causing me to gulp deeply. I focused on cutting the onions.

"He's just my classmate" I replied with a frown. I chopped the onions away as if my life depended on it. I imagined them to be more than just a vegetable. Right now it became my worst enemy.

"I beg to differ my dear. You should invite him over for dinner one of these days". I simply nodded wanting to be rid of the conversation. Dinner was like a sour pill in my mouth.

I took small bites of Ms. Freckles' delicious lasagna but she didn't seem to notice. The evidence of the letter replayed in my mind as I made my way back to my room.

The world seemed to slow around me. I opened my room door and closed it as I narrowed my eyes at my little desk drawer. I wanted to burn it so it would crumble in my hands and be nothing more than ashes.

I changed into my pajamas and got into bed. A slight breeze passed through my open window. I was to turn out the light when my eyes saw a small photo. I gently picked it up carefully.

I gasped when I saw a man with dark brown locks of hair and hazel eyes. He was hugging two women who resembled him. But I didn't miss the most shocking thing of all.

There was a dark birthmark underneath his left eye. And the same could be said for the two women. Each of them adorning a small birthmark on their face.