My Guard for Life

Chapter 14

I heard Pierre called me again as he ran after me. I didn't turn to him and instead, I started to run as fast as I could to hail a taxi. Hindi na niya ako napigilan nang pumasok ako sa loob ng sasakyan at iwan siya ro'n.

I huffed. Seeing him with Rainne was painful enough. Paano niya ako nagawang ipagpalit sa babaeng 'yon? We were together for a decade. We've gone through a lot of ups and downs. He's my guard, my protector, and my friend. And he just let me go?

Nagpahatid ako sa bahay para mag-ayos. I don't know if Pierre would come after me. No, he won't. He'll stay with Rainne. I felt cold all over. Nagmadali ako sa pagligo and then wore an off-shoulder dress with buttons in front.

My mind flew from Pierre's dismay when he couldn't stop me from running away from him. I remembered how terrified I was kanina when he yelled at us. I remembered the pain in his eyes when he stopped Rainne from advancing to me and when I left. Why do I feel guilty after that hell I've been into?

Lumabas ako ng kwarto. Binati ako ng mga maids. I told them I'm going out. I know they wanted to ask me about Pierre. I don't have time to answer that now. I planned to go to that restobar again to get wasted. This is my way of escape. Pierre's reaction earlier is bothering me, and I wanted to forget that. Bago pa ako makalabas ng bahay ay nakita ko na agad ang paglapit ni Pierre sa akin.

Why is he here? Why isn't he with Rainne? They're not going to work on their relationship? Why am I happy with the sound of that?

"Let's talk, Dae. Can you come with me?" Pierre begged.

Tiningnan ko lamang siya. I stayed at the doorway while he was a few steps from me. And then he dragged his feet again, looming closer to where I am.

"I can't talk to you right now," I honestly responded.

I thought there's nothing more painful than seeing his cold face, but when he closed his eyes with his forehead creased and when I heard his shallow breath and groans...I couldn't say he's not hurt either.

"I want to talk to you right now. Please."

I lowered my hand and squeezed my hand into a fist. "I said I can't talk right now. Bukas na lang."

I dragged my feet to walk past him, but he stopped me by pulling me towards his body. His head found its place on my neck, and then he hugged me tightly so I couldn't get away from him.

Nanatili sa magkabilang side ang mga kamay ko, refusing to hug him back. I swallowed the lump in my throat. This is the second time I felt the drumbeats of Pierre's heart.

"We can't stay like this, Dae. This will goddamn kill me. Let's go back. Please."

This is the first time I heard him earnestly plead. I closed my eyes, and tears flowed out.

"Why are you doing this to me, Pierre? Hindi naman tayo pero sinasaktan mo ako. Why can't you just let me go?"

I felt him shake his head and then sneaked his head more on my neck. He hugged me so tightly that I couldn't decide if I was standing on the ground or he was lifting me.

"I won't. I promised I would come back. I won't let you go, Dae."

"I had enough pain. Why are you making me feel this? Ano ba talaga ako sa 'yo?" my voice cracked.

"Shh." His hand caressed my hair.

"Are you giving false hopes now?"

He shook his head, still caressing my hair.

"Bakit mo iniwan si Rainne do'n? Are you done with her? That's why you're going back to me again?"

"I was never hers, Dae."