My Guard for Life

Chapter 10

At four in the afternoon, I left the coffee shop to go back home. I tended to the burn and took a taxi to a restobar nearby na lang afterward. Hindi na nagtanong ang mga maids nang umuwi at aalis akong mag-isa. Maybe they could sense na hindi kami ayos ni Pierre.

Tahimik akong pumasok sa loob ng malawak at secluded na restobar dito sa Pasay. I've been here once when I tried to sneak out with my ex before. Nahuli ako ni Pierre ng gabing 'yon. He almost got into a fight. I was drunk, and it's my ex's fault. Pierre didn't let it pass. He punched the guy and took me home.

It's one of those days that I miss, he's not here with me to forget the recent days na puno ng uncertainties and stress. Of course, because he's part of it. I just wish he cares. Wala pa akong natatanggap na message mula sa kanya. Uso naman ang free chat kung wala siyang load pero wala.

I'm sporting a tee shirt and a leather jacket partnered with high-waisted jeans. I held the glass of beer in my hand. Nakaupo na ako ngayon sa high stool malayo sa stage kung saan may nagpe-perform. Everyone's attention is on them. I'm not. I wanted to get wasted alone.

I closed my eyes and let the taste control my body. I eventually felt nauseous after taking four sips. I'm not sure if I'm invisible to everyone, but no one bothered me in the next thirty minutes.

The performance was outstanding. The song is captivating, and even the vocalist was a stress-reliever. I decided na mag-order ulit ng isang glass. I went to the counter and yelled for my order.

May lumapit na lalaki sa tabi ko. I didn't pay attention when he extended his hand to introduce himself to me. I shook my head and stepped away when I had my glass of beer.

I instantly went lost through the crowd. Nahanap ko muli ang space ko. Umupo ako at nagsimulang mag-inom ulit.

My head nodded when the song changed to a rock one. I was wasted already. I only had two beers to make me feel I'm having fun and don't care if I'm alone tonight. At least, no one is stopping me. No Pierre tonight.

Namuo ang tubig sa mga mata ko. The next thing I knew, I was crying harder, deeper, and had no control whatsoever. I let every emotion out. I thought I was going to forget the pain, but it wasn't the case. I'm missing him.

"Dae! Dae, ikaw ba 'yan?!" pakinig ko mula sa malayo.

I didn't lift my head. I continued crying. Nasasaktan ako dahil pagkatapos ng ilang taon ay mag-isa na ako. Dahil lang sa nangyari kahapon, nawala ang lahat sa akin. It hurts so bad.

"Dae! Lasing ka na ba?!" malakas ang boses ng lalaki.

Iniangat ko ang mukha ko. I smiled widely and hugged the man.

"Pierre," I cried.

I hugged him tighter, but the guy pushed me a little.

"Lasing ka na nga. Si Kuya Renz 'to, Dae! Why are you here? Why are you crying? Did Pierre leave you?"

Tumango lang ako. He's right. Pierre left me.

"Tara na. Ihahatid kita sa inyo. Bakit iniiwan ng kumag na 'yon? lifted my arms and then he piggyback me. "Bwisit, nasaan na 'yon?"

Naramdaman ko ang asim ng tiyan ko. I'm not the type of drunk na susuka kapag may naramdaman sa tiyan. I forced myself to feel okay even I'm not. I wanted to cry some more. I shouldn't have gone with Kuya Renz. Why is he here, by the way?

I heard him open the door. Maingat niya akong ipinasok sa car niya. I opened my eyes a bit and saw Kuya Renz's face. Oh, Pierre. Why do you look the same as your older brother?

I closed my eyes and cried again. Why am I crying like a lovesick woman? I'm not heartbroken!

"Dae, kaya mo pa ba? Why are you here alone?"