My Guard for Life

Chapter 36

Two years without Pierre was the toughest challenge in my life. I was thirteen when he became my bodyguard. I was twenty-two when we separated. That's a decade with him. I know two years can be short, but it was torture for me.

I tried forgetting him. I tried opening myself again to other guys here in New York. But like writing, Pierre is where my heart is. It will never change. He became my inspiration to learn how to grow independently. He became my strength for a couple of years of more chaos.

When we left for New York, a painful event happened. Mommy died. We went to see her. Daddy finally saw her again. But after that day, she bid her farewell. She's gone. I hate to say it, but Daddy almost left me too. He couldn't accept that Mommy had left us. But I told him that Mommy wanted him to live. That gave him strength.

I was looking after him after his therapy and surgery. After a year, he went back to the Philippines and managed the corporation again. While I studied business management. It was unbearable because I didn't like the program, unlike creative writing. Thank goodness, it wasn't as hard as I imagined. I started writing one month after Mommy died. I was honest to say, I was traumatized to share it with the world.

When Ate Avi found out about it. She kept pushing me to see a psychologist. She said they can help me with my trauma, to face it instead of avoiding it and recover from it. Dalawang linggo pagkatapos ay nagdesisyon akong sumubok. The psychologist became my friend. Her name was Myline Shulman. She's friendly, cheerful, and talkative. She made me feel comfortable.

And then, I started sharing to the world my passion. I posted on a well-known writing platform, where readers found me and welcomed me with warmth. They loved my written works. It gave me joy that people were reading and acknowledging it. Hindi maiiwasan na may mangki-criticize, but because of Myline, she supported me with that too.

After two years, I'm proud that I'm the better version of myself. Almost...

One month before the event...

Ate Avi broke the news that Pierre passed the veterinary medicine licensure examination as the top notcher. I was so happy for him, and I've never doubted that he won't make it. It came to my mind that it was the right time to meet with him. I miss him so much, and I'm dying to talk to him again. And what if he won't?

A week after that, a publishing company reached out to me. They wanted me to be an exclusive writer for them. They planned to publish my works and have a book signing event with my readers in Metro Manila. Kinailangan ko pang kausapin si Ate Avi if it was legit. I signed a contract with them through a document file. I was in tears. Because finally, I don't have to hide my passion anymore.

Bumisita ako sa puntod ni Mommy the week before my flight to the Philippines. It was scheduled for tomorrow. Ibinaba ko ang bouquet of roses sa tapat ng kanyang pangalan. I smiled at her.

"I'm here again, Mommy."

I clasped my hands behind my back after tugging strands of hair in my ear. I admired the cherry blossoms. The spring season here in New York is my favorite.

"I'm going back to the Philippines tomorrow. I know you're happy for me. I miss you, Mommy. I will take care of Daddy for you. I love you."

I bid her goodbye after that. Ngumiti ako kay Law na nasa likod ko. Parehas kaming tumalikod at umalis sa cemetery.

The next day, I was excited at the airport. I'm not sure if Pierre would open his arms wider for me. I've long accepted that maybe he hasn't forgiven me, or perhaps he doesn't love me anymore. Pierre will probably not be happy to see me, or he will not care at all if I come back. I wanted to know about that badly. But I also wanted him to know that that day we separated, I didn't give up on him entirely.