𝐷𝑒𝑓𝑖𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 ✔️

#28

Aesira

I look at my reflection as I wore the gown. Cinched at the waist and flowing down to cover my feet I wondered how much this would have cost. I ran my fingers down the silky material admiring every aspect of this dress that fit me in every way. Every inch. Every crevice. The small slit that went up my leg revealed my pale thigh. The small train flowed behind me dramatically.

This was far too valuable, far too precious for me to have. It was perfect in every way. I wasn't worthy enough to wear such a luxurious thing. Gosh, it was perfection at its finest.

Blue.

I hadn't understood the obsession Damon had with the colour blue. My eyes were as simple as could be. I simple shade of blue. There were far more beautiful colours to exist yet he chose to like it anyway. His favourite colour, his nickname for me. Blue. My eyes were nothing unique. They weren't different not were they extraordinary.

But this dress, this blue beautiful dress was something more than a simple blue... The colour stood out like a sore thumb and released confidence in me I thought was impossible. My eyes were even more vibrant as I wore the dress.

I dragged my hair to my left shoulder and zipped down the back with ease. It was too perfect for me. It pooled at my feet softly and revealed my body. I stepped out of the blue dress and folded it nicely on the bed feeling guilty for having it on the floor.

Catching my body in the mirror again I felt all the confidence I had drain from me. The figure that stood in front of me was nothing perfect like that dress. Nothing precious, nothing beautiful.

My pale thighs touching together. No gap. Wide hips. I look down at my stomach and my face subconsciously scrunched. My underwear and body are fully on display and I couldn't help the negative thoughts that flooded my brain.

I look at my eyes that held back the tears threatening to fall. My vision blurring as my mind took over. You are nothing. You aren't worth anything. I closed my eyes and let the warm tear trail along my hot cheek.

I turned around before I could catch another glimpse of myself. I hated the fact that I was disgusted with myself. I was bullying myself. How could I be a victim to my own mind? How did it make me feel so worthless?

I moved to hang up the dress and place it in the bag. I placed it back on the bed and sat down beside it. My eyes fluttered to get rid of the tears as I looked up at the plain ceiling.

"Aesira?" Athena knocked on my door. I hummed in response not trusting my voice. "April and I are going out... Want to come?" I was thankful that she thought about me but I wanted to give them space. It was the first time Athena showed any emotion towards someone.

"No, it's ok to go on without me!" I yelled through the door. She patted the door and yelled an 'ok' in response. I nodded my head as if she could see me and went to put on some clothes. I put on some shorts and a hoodie and brushed them down.

I looked at my thighs once more and sighed. No one is going to be here. I pestered myself and stepped outside the door. "Bye, I love you!" Athena said opening the door.

"I love you more"

"Not possible"

"More than possible" I smiled at her and received one back before she closed the door. I walked to grab a cup of water for the first time today and brought it with me to the couch. I sat down and crossed my legs starting at the black TV screen in front of me.

Taking the sip cooled down my body and slowed down my breathing to a calm state. The door knocked suddenly which frightened me from my calm period. I sighed loudly and placed the cup on the coffee table.

"Did you forget the key again?" I yelled and opened the door. My annoyed expression turning to shock. "What are you two doing here?"

Damon and Carter.

Damon had no expression on his face when the door opened until his eyes hit mine. His jaw loosened and his complexion seemed relaxed. His hand going to the back of Carter and judging by the tightness of his shirt he was gripping the back.

"Hi" Carter laughed

I raised my brows and crossed my arms. Silence took over and I went to close the door next. Damon's hand hit the door preventing it from closing. "My goodness, what?!" I asked.

Damon shook Carter by his shirt roughly causing him to groan. "Ok, ok. I'm sorry" he whispered. My eyes widened.

"For...?"

"Making you disrupt the meeting" he mumbled again. My eyes narrowed and I looked at Damon who kept his eyes on me.

"Ok," I said and went the close the door again but Damon pushed it back open. "Yes?" I huffed.

"You can go" Damon pushed Carter away.

"Ow! -wow brother, I see how it is" Carter walked away mumbling curses and now it was just me and Damon.

"Well, see ya" I closed the door with more force this time only to have it pushed back open. Damon walked in casually and started looking around. "Get out" I demanded.

"This is technically my place blue" blue. My body shuddered.

"I don't care. My- my sister is here" I lied

He chuckled and turned to look at me. "No she's not" he crossed his arms and took a step my way.

"Yes, she is."

"Ok. Where is she?" he started looking around curiously? "I would love to say hi"

"You can't, she's in her room...taking a nap"

"Really?" he questioned me amused. "Because I could have sworn I saw her through my cameras leaving with her little girlfriend"

"You waited till she left?" I scoffed in disbelief. "What am I saying, of course, you did" I turned around and placed my hand to my head.

"Do you like the dress?" Damon asked me which made m turn back around. I looked at him staring into my room. "The bag is open so you must have looked at it, or tried it on."

"I didn't" I shrugged.

"Do you need a different size? I can always get you a different style or colour as well" he offered again.

"No, because I told you, I am not going. Why can't you just take no for an answer?"

"Because I want you to come with me." That was barely a reason. There are probably hundreds of eligible contenders for him to take. Why must he take me?

"Just one night. Accompany me to this one thing, after if you truly don't have fun and you want me to-to stop I'll stop" he struggled

"What" stop what?

"Bothering you." I was completely caught off guard by his words. Would he stop? Now that he was offering it out loud I didn't know what I wanted. "Deal?" he held out his hand to me.

"Deal"