Autism Awareness: How I Overcame Domestic Abuse, Sexual Assault & Drug Addiction

Part 6: Chicken And Rice

This next girl took my breath away. Her personality was amazing. She seemed perfect. But everything in my life is always way too good to be true.

One night I was with my best friends girl in town, just after he cheated on her. That night these two girls came into Maccies, one of them was my mates cousin, she introduced me to her friend and we hit it off. When she went to the toilet I turned round to my best friends partner and my mates cousin and told them that she's amazing and she had the best ass I'd ever seen. Yes that makes me sound like a fuck boy but I had a drug problem and I was baked.

So she comes out of the toilet and they tell her what I said. She grabs my phone and adds herself on Facebook.

That night I go back to my best mates with his partner and they end up sleeping with each other while I'm in the bed...
It had to be the worst night of my life, I felt sick.

The next morning I go round to a friends house for a joint because it's her birthday. I message the girl from the night before and she wants to meet me. So as baked as a potato I walked to meet her.

Next thing I know were walking up to my parents because my phones playing up and as my dad sorts it he invites her in. Some girl I'm not even sure that I like gets invited over for dinner.

So after dinner I walk her home. We go past my best mates on the way and he walks with us. When we get to hers we smoke a joint with her and her mum. She asks me to spend the night so I get a lift from my best mates dad back to my parents, I collect some clothes and my dad drops me back off, he thinks this girl is right for me so he asks if I want to take her out to the theatre tomorrow so I ask her and she said yes. My first date since the girl that broke me, I didn't know what to expect.

So this girl wasn't the from the richest family like I was. I was used to everything and she had nothing. She didn't have a bedroom so we had to push the sofas together and sleep on their.

We're slowly making moves and then she says we can't do anything because we're not together, and I agreed so she told me she liked me and I felt the same. A full day with this girl and I had decided that I wanted to have her in my life. So I ask her to be mine, she says yes and then we got busy. It was the best night I'd had with a woman for a long while. She told me after that she thought I was a virgin and she was surprised that I lasted so long and she'd never came as much. She told me she loved me. I wasn't ready to love again but after that night I was smitten, I told her I loved her too. But did I? I don't understand feelings, I struggle with them. I was afraid but I acted confident.

Things seemed great right? But that was just a lie. A few weeks later she broke up with me and said the spark had gone. I wouldn't say I broke again but I wasn't fixed either, the drugs just drowned all that out.

That night she told me she didn't mean it and she's sorry and she wants me back. My dad told me not to be a fucking idiot because she's nice and I'd be a fool if I didn't go and get her back. So I did.

Two days later me and a friend go over to hers to meet her, when we get their she's arguing with her mum, we're just sat downstairs and all we hear come out of her mums mouth was "does he know that you broke up with him to sleep with another guy and only went back because he's bigger and better?" That shit broke me, I needed a spliff and fast. I needed to drown the emotions out, I needed to be emotionless. The friend I'm with asks me if I want her grab the brick from outside and smash her face in. I said I didn't want that I just wanted to get high.

So she came downstairs, she knew I'd heard what her mum said, she tried to apologise, I told her don't. I said let's just go and get high. So we did. I was stupid and I forgave her, but that night I smoked more than I'd ever smoked before. I only just managed to get home. My parents noticed that I was completely fucked. I then slid down the door and the radiator and started shaking. I was having a bad reaction. Was I spiked? I think I was. Weed makes you sick when you pull a whitey, it doesn't do what it did to me. So they called an ambulance and they said I was fine, I then hobbled to bed and went to sleep.

A few days later I decided to stay at hers. She goes to sleep in nothing but a t-shirt. Her bottom half was covered by the bed quilt. Their was a knock at the door, it was someone who I assumed to be her mother's boyfriend. It wasn't, it was the guy who got her pregnant on a night out and didn't want a relationship but wanted to help with the baby.

So her mum lends him money and he gets some alcohol. We're their drinking away and then an argument breaks out and they wake her up. Me and the baby dad are completely leathered. And her mums had way too much wine for a pregnant lady. So as she butts her nose in when it wasn't her place to do so (in her eyes he used her mum for his pleasure) and then her mum slaps and pulls her out of bed. She sees that she's only half clothed and thinks she intended to be like that for the baby dad. Christ knows how when nobody knew he was gonna show up.

So one thing led to another and her mum ends up smacking her across the head with an ash tray. I don't exactly remember what happened next I just remember the three of us been slung out.

We ended up walking to the baby dads mates. I was fucked and just wanted to be home and in my own bed. I wanted my mum to tell me that everything was going to be ok. I wanted to be cuddled. I didn't want to be in a crack den...

So that night I saw people snorting, injecting, bombing ket and more. I was just drinking more to drown out the horrors before my very eyes. As the night went on I become very tired. They told me to sleep. I wasn't going to sleep their. I had fifty pounds in cash in my wallet and my phone on me. I wasn't going to be robbed by these people the second I closed my eyes. I was petrified.

Early hours the next morning one of the guys went out to the shop. He came back with what he said was a spliff. I took one burn and I knew it wasn't so I passed it to the baby dad, he instantly said don't smoke that it's chicken and rice. He'd given me spice. Fucking spice! He wanted me fucked so he could rob me. I didn't know what to do so I went to the bathroom, drank water, cleaned up and then said I was going home for some sleep. She said she didn't want to come and I should go back for her later.

So I got home and went to bed. An hour later I woke up and went to get her and bring her somewhere safe.

She came to mine and we told my mum what had happened. She cried about it and didn't know what to do. She had nowhere to go. So my dad booked us an hotel for two nights and then she sorted something out so she could stay at her aunties.

So on our way to her aunties my dad stops by Lidl and bought her a shed load of food. She took it to her aunties. Two days later she took everything and moved back in with her ex.

I just needed to get high and forget. Once again I was dropped by someone who I thought loved me. So that's what I did. I smoked more weed. I drowned everything out.