Autism Awareness: How I Overcame Domestic Abuse, Sexual Assault & Drug Addiction

Part 17: The Long Summer

I fell in love with this girl. I didn't fully understand what I was feeling but it was an amazing sensation. With the help of this girl and my support workers I built a stronger relationship with my parents, I became better. I worked on myself for her, I even gave up weed for her. Life was good, but good things don't last forever.

So after Essex I spent a lot more time blazing my brains out with X. His uncle went back over because he was happy and free over their. This gave me and X a reason to hang out more. I was lonely and so was he.

So X and his family had his ex girlfriend living with them. From everything I had heard about her from X she was a vile cow. So me being the loyal person I was backed my friend when he needed it.

Eventually X moved on and she didn't like it. So one day he brings his new partner round and his ex was heartbroken seeing them together. She hated it. That day we all went round to X's Nan's for tea. She never showed. The night before we had a real heart to heart about things so X's mum sent me round to go see if she was ok. As I turned up and opened the door she was sat their, fresh out of the shower, skanky clothes on and wet hair. She was crying her little heart out while listening to depressive music. My heart broke seeing her like this. I walked over, grabbed her towel and started drying her hair and then I began to brush it. She began to smile. It was clear that like most girls in this generation, that she hadn't experienced a guy been this nice to her before. So we talked and u convinced her to eat. I learned that day that sometimes when two people split up they over exaggerate what happened between them, it turns out they were just toxic together.

Later that evening I was sat on the sofa playing some call of duty with X's dad. My phone began to ping, this girl that was sat less that five feet away from me had messaged me to say that she missed getting cuddles and asked if she could have some. In that moment I didn't know what to say. If I said no I could break her more than she was, but if I said yes I would of seemed a massive prick in the eyes of X. I agreed and offered her cuddles.

Later that night on my way home I got a call from X. He told me that after what I did for his ex she seems to like me and that I should go for it. He pushed and pushed until I said I'd give it a go. It turns out that he just wanted me to get her off his back which in the beginning was a good thing for me because I was going to fall in love for the first time since the girl who domestically abused me, but good things don't usually last.

So I began talking to this girl, things were great. I was back in paradise, I was happy again. For the first time in a long time I didn't want to end it all. She fixed me.

One day me, X and his partner were all listening to music from high school musical and singing along while my partner (we got together a few days after she started to fall for me) was at college. That night she went psycho because I'd spent more time with X than I had with her. She was at college what was I supposed to do?

It just happens that X and his girlfriend had an argument for the same reason just because she went home early. So I assumed that we had sorted things before I left to go home that night but I was wrong.

The next morning I woke up to a call from her saying that she was sorry but after the argument last night she thought I was going to break up with her so she slept with X, I ended things with her and put the phone down. She rushed up to my parents to see me but I wasn't having any of it. She wanted to prove that she loved me, I really hoped she did because I was crazy about this girl but before I took her back I had to be sure. So she came with me to my best friends house. She thought I was just going for a catch up but in reality I was going to get baked so I could drown out all the negativity

So after a few spliffs my best mate couldn't hold his tongue so he ripped into her for cheating on me and made her feel so low. I wanted to stop him but I couldn't. I was scared of him. I just sat their. So eventually she walked off and went home. I cried in my best friends arms, he knew how much she meant to me, he wanted to make amends and help me win back the girl of my dreams.