Autism Awareness: How I Overcame Domestic Abuse, Sexual Assault & Drug Addiction

Part 14: A Trip To Essex

So the first lockdown was about to end and I had been messaging this girl. She was from down south and I'm up north, so god knows why either of us thought we could actually work but at the time we did.

So I had this friend. We'll call him X.

So this girl was trying to find someone for her mum so I decided to set him with X's uncle. Me and his uncle were boys. We went through all sorts for X. We both looked out for him.

So when lockdown was over they wanted to come and bring me and X's uncle down to Essex. I was up for it and so was he. But shit hit the fan two days before we were scheduled to go.

So my current partner and X's had a domestic. So she broke up with me. I was completely fine with this. It was long distance and I'd never met her. It was bound to happen, I expected it.

So the day came, they'd arrived to pick up X's uncle. I was just sat relaxing in my bedroom listen to music and then I got a phone call from X's uncle. He told me he was freaking out and he didn't want to go that far alone. He said she wanted me to come as friends so I agreed to speak to her. I walked down, flirted with her a bit and agreed to go. So they drove me up to my mums. That was the biggest mistake I ever made. She saw my parents house and unlike everybody else in my friendship group I didn't live on a council estate (I'm not trying to sound snobby here I'm just painting a picture). She saw that my parents had money and that's what she wanted.

So I'd packed my stuff and we got in the car and headed for Essex. I was anxious. I was so thankful that since the first lockdown had ended that X had gotten me back on weed because I needed it. So we stopped so this girl and her mum could go to the toilet so me and X's uncle walked up into the woods by the side of the motor way to have a spliff. That spliff relaxed me. I felt calm. I wasn't worried I was just rolling with it.

At this point I'd forgotten that this girls best mate was in the car. I knew she was staring at me but I no longer cared.

We stopped again and me and this girl walked into the woods and I leaned in for a kiss. Her best mate found out and wanted words. I was stoned out of my tree and I couldn't give two fucks about what she had to say, I was on a level. I loved it.

So after several hours we arrived in Essex. Her best mate was sleeping her bed so that left her on the floor and me on the sofa in the front room. I couldn't bare to see her on the floor so I invited her to share the sofa.

We decided to put on a movie. IT Chapter 2 to be precise. Just as it started we could hear her mum and X's uncle going at it. She said she didn't want to hear that so I told her I'd give her something to distract her. No less than five minutes later they finished, we laughed but we continued what we were doing.

Just as we had finished so had the movie. She enjoyed herself and so did I. Just on the back of my mind all I could think about was how slaggy I felt. I wasn't even in a relationship with this girl and I'd slept with her. I was becoming something I hated. A man slag...

Well the next day comes along and we ended up getting together. In the back of mind I knew that this relationship wasn't going to last the week but I just pushed that feeling back with more drugs.

So nights go on, more sex happens and then eventually she ends it. But I'm still stuck over their with X's uncle for half a week. What a joke. So we just ended up smoking more and more weed to pass the time.

On the last day we went to Southend. I borrowed just shy of a hundred pounds from my dad to have a blast with. YA bit of that went on weed but I needed it, I relied on it. The rest went on the amusements. I won countless prizes for her nephews. I was upset that it had ended but I still couldn't win her back, at the time it bothered me but now it's a blessing.

So weeks have gone by and I'd moved on. Out of nowhere she rings me and tells me she's pregnant!

I didn't know what to do. So a few days go by and it turns out she lied about it just because she wanted money of my parents. I was fuming. First she used me for dick until the guy she wanted took her seriously, then she let her mate slagged me off (I offered him for a fight on my last but he ran off to his car and drove off) and then she wanted my parents money, I was fucking fuming! I thought life couldn't get any worse but then life just kicks you in the dick.