Contract Boyfriend || n.yuta

34

That  unfortunate year on her birthday, she and Jungwoo were out for dinner. He was still playing her with his little façade. Before the night ended, he was down on one knee with promises of the future he built in his heart. A future which, according to Jungwoo, was built from love.

Who in the right mind would think he had a heart capable of something so sweet? Looking back at it, she wondered why she believed it. Clearly, she wasn't in the right mind. She was worn down mentally and emotionally, and he was good at keeping her at bay with confusion and positive reinforcement.

"I wouldn't know what I'd do without you."

Yeah. He wouldn't have a something to direct his anger to.

 She happily accepted it at the time with a false sense of security. She thought he wouldn't abandon her, blinded by her 'love' for him. She thought that it would be a chance of having love where she wouldn't be afraid of him leaving. 

Why did she think the craving of a love and family her inner child wanted could be satiated? How could she forget the root of all her fears? How could she forget what her parents were like? 

It was 'normal' for Jungwoo to stand her up sometimes, but the fact he did it even more blatantly and carelessly was what alarmed her. He would say he would be training or hanging out with the boys which they would back up. Iseul tried to understand him and his declining display of whatever affection he had left. 

At some point, he only looked at her with angry and hurt eyes. Hurt. Did he even have the right to feel hurt if all she wanted was to sit down and talk? She never doubted him and she wished she did. She wished so bad she didn't blame herself for his sour mood and treatment. 

It was the morning, hours before the first snow would fall from the gloomy skies, where she finally mustered the courage. Like always, she was brushed off when she confronted him. She decided to just leave her gift for their anniversary in his locker since he was 'too busy' to meet up. It was a simple blanket she spent her whole month knitting. She didn't have much money at the time since she was paying for their rent. 

Yes, she worked hard to pay for their shared apartment. Maybe she should have found a shittier apartment since she wouldn't be the one who spends their night in the bed she bought.

Upon opening the locker though, she spotted another girl's things. Cosmetics, perfume, bag, and even her change of clothes. She would think Jungwoo moved lockers, but a couple of the seniors didn't seem to notice her which allowed her to hear their conversation. 

"Jungwoo has been to obvious lately. I don't think I can keep it up anymore if he doesn't plan it out."

"He has Iseul wrapped around his fingers. I feel bad for her, but I don't want to betray a friend you get me?" 

"I'm sure he'll get bored. He did say he'll come back to Iseul in the end."

"Yo did Jungwoo say he was with me or Taeyong? Iseul just sent me a text. What do I say?"

"I don't know. Just say you just left so you wouldn't know. I'm sure he's at their apartment with Sohye's friend doing whatever. I heard Iseul's helping out today, but that shit is still risky." 

She slipped away without the members noticing her. She remembered how awful she felt with that empty static feeling eating her. She needed to hold on to something to stay grounded and make sure she wouldn't pass out. Her body physically compensated with the emotional stress she couldn't let out. 

"Oh, so you found out? I guess it's over then."

Those words haunted her. There wasn't even the tiniest drop of remorse in his voice. It was like he was a whole different person in that moment. No, he wasn't a different person. That was his real self. His eyes. His prying eyes waited for her reaction in anticipation. He wanted her to cry, but too bad for him she couldn't.