What If's

CHAPTER 26

Alexandra's POV

He sent me an invitation to their wedding. His and Mikaella's wedding.

Is it weird and awkward? Yes, totally. Am I bothered? Honestly, no.

Tanggap ko na naman sa sarili ko na tapos na kami and besides, he loves her. I saw it with my own two beautiful eyes. Pero hindi ko lang ine-expect na gagawin talaga nila ang padalhan ako ng wedding invite.

And to make matters worse, Joshua is with us when we opened the envelope containing the invite. Oo, alam ko naman na aware siya sa past namin, he was there when I wailed and sobbed— and those scenes were not pretty. Pero feeling ko lang ang weird kasi 'di ba sabi ko sa sarili ko na bibigyan ko ng chance kung ano man meron kami. Tapos biglang darating itong invitation na 'to.

"So are you going?" he asked.

Hindi ko alam ano isasagot ko, teka lang naman! I could say no, it's not like I really want to plus I also don't think my presence is that much of an importance there.

I took a side glance at him. Nandito kami sa lanai para magpahangin, kami lang dalawa kasi bigla nalang umalis si Andrea. He looks calm though, contrary to what I'm feeling. May papikit-pikit pa siya habang ninanamnam ang sariwang hangin.

"I got my invitation two days ago..." he started. Wait, what? Nakatanggap din siya? Bakit? "Remember, Mika and I were neighbors...she handed me the invite herself." Bigla naman akong nahiya. Siguro masyado nang halata sa facial expression ko kaya niya sinabi 'yon.

Muli naman akong napalingon sa kanya at laking gulat ko nalang na nakitingin din pala siya sa akin. Kanina pa 'yan? Oh my! Ang pangit ko for sure. Nakakahiya ka, Alexandra!

"Will you be my date?" And again, I don't know what to say. Is it really okay to attend your ex's wedding with the guy your dating? Or in my case– my fiancé.

Pwede naman kaming hindi pumunta eh, siguro nga mas okay pa 'yon. Pero ayoko rin namang magmukhang bitter.

"Alexandra...Alex..."

Ayoko lang naman kasing magkaroon ng problema. What if magselos si Joshua 'di ba? I mean he doesn't look like the jealous type, but that could still be possible. Our relationship is just starting, we didn't even have a label for it yet.

I felt a light nudge around my shoulder and was surprised to see a hand– his hand.

"Uh...yes?" I asked.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" he asked back. Did I miss something? "Why are you spacing out? Is there a problem?" What he said made me stare at him for no reason at all. I just feel like the need to drown, and what best way to do that than getting lost in his eyes.

Pero habang nakatitig ako sa mga mata niya, iba't ibang emosyon din ang nakikita ko. Ngunit tanging ang pagaalala lang ang sigurado ako. Para saan? Sa akin?

Bakit ba palagi ko nalang pinagaalala ang mga taong importante sa' kin. Either I do something or just stay still. I always end up making them worry.

So is there a problem? Do I have a problem? Yes. But he didn't have to know. "Nope, everything's fine. Ano ba kasi 'yung sinabi mo, paki ulit nga." I said as I smile trying to mask my thoughts from his prying eyes and to also change the topic.

He stared at me a little longer, trying to see through the barriers. It is making me uncomfortable but I held firm, smiling wider in the process.

Napailing na lang siya at lumayo ng konti. Sometimes I wonder about what he's thinking. He acts like an open book when actually he's not. I just feel like there's more to us meeting than a pure coincidence.

Gusto kong malaman pero hindi naman pwede mamilit. He can wait for me so I can too.

"Tara..." sabi niya habang dahan-dahang inaalis ang tingin sa mga bulaklak na nasa paligid at muling tumingin sa 'kin

"Huh? Saan?"

"Gift shopping."

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A few moments later I found myself between the aisles inside Home Depot trying to find a decent wedding present.

"Why are we doing this again?" I asked.

This guy is so random. Back there I was worried that going to the wedding would be weird for him and yet here we are trying to find the perfect gift for my ex and his future wife.

"Buying an actual gift is more sincere. They might appreciate it more since we personally bought it for them," he said without even sparing me glance. Masyado siyang busy kakatingin sa mga possible gifts. "How 'bout a lamp? For their bedroom or study..." A lamp?

Why is he putting so much effort in this? Probability is may bahay na sila na fully furnished at 'di na nila kailangan ng bagay na maaaring makasira sa aesthetic efforts nila, kung meron man.

"Can we just give them cash? It's more practical, you know."

Hindi niya ako pinansin at pinagpatuloy lang ang pagbaybay sa loob ng store.

Kahit nakakatamad ang pagsunod sa kanya for more than 30 minutes ay na-e-enjoy pa rin naman ako. Bakit? Kasi ang cute niyang tignan habang seryosong kinikilatis ang mga item na naisip niyang maaaring i-regalo.

"Hey Alex, look at this couch...its cute right?" Halos napanguso naman akong lumapit sa kanya. Here we go again.

"Hey...hey, don't sit on it. Bawal 'yan." But he didn't listen instead he took my hand and pulled me to sit beside him. I tried struggling but he kept me seated firmly.

"Sit still and feel it. Comfy isn't it." It's a statement than of a question. Labag sa loob naman akong pumikit ngunit dinama ko pa rin ang comfy na sinasabi niya. At tama nga siya. Sobrang lambot ng cushion na parang gusto ko nalang mahiga at matulog.

"On second thought, we can't buy this for them."

"Finally, why do you bother anyway? For sure may interior designer na sila..." sabi ko habang nakaupo pa rin. Ang sarap talaga sa feeling. Dapat ganito rin ang magiging couch namin sa bahay in the future. 'Yung pagpagod kami after work ay pwede naming pagpahingahan. Tapos—teka nga, ano? Ano ba 'tong iniisip ko?

"I don't want to give this to them because..." he stopped mid-sentence, it made me curious why therefore I slowly opened my eyes to look at him, that I wish I didn't do "I'd rather have this for our house." I was caught by his gaze, unable to neither move nor blink.

"O-our h-house..." I manage to voice out despite stuttering.

His eyes bore unto mine, intensely. I felt the room temperature rise as he move to lean closer...closer...closer until there was only an inch of space left between his face and mine. My breathing hitched as my heart raced.

"Yes..." he said in a low tone making it almost a whisper. I swear I couldn't have heard it on normal circumstances but right now, the way his breath fans my face I doubt it. "Ours... The home the we will build together, Alexandra."

As he said those words the intensity of his stare rose on a higher level. And I do believe, I too was looking at him the same way.

Seconds felt eternity and this inch of a distance between our lips felt like a mile. I felt light as if I was sitting on a cloud. This weird sensation is making my head lighter, dismissing all rational thoughts.

Just a taste. A peck.

Slowly.

With my heart beating rapidly.

I crossed the line.

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Thank you for reading <3