What If's

CHAPTER 33

We are now having our family dinner, but the usual chit-chats at the table are now missing. Only the clatters of the dishes are sounds one can here in this four-cornered dinner hall.

This is the first dinner I have with my family 3 days since the confrontation scene with Allen. My parents, especially my mother hasn't said anything when our gazes met on the way here but Im sure they know about what happened.

My two brothers are even quiet, which is weird since they'll be anything but quiet.

"So anak, how's your stay here?" saad ng ama ko na nakaupo sa kabisera ng hapag kainan, ako ang kinakausap niya pero kaming lahat ang napatingin sa kanya.

"Well, its very eventful," sagot ko.

Muking natahimik ang lahat, "Oh wait, eventful is such an understatement," dagdag ko habang tumatawa. "My stay so far is stressful Daddy. I mean no offense but I regretted coming home and staying long," I spoke in a low voice.

I felt everyone at the table stilled. He was probably shocked at what I had said too.

"Cous, just chill," Aya said as she held my hand under the table. I gave her a smile.

"Mom, Dad? Can I ask you a question?"

My mother remained stoic so I had to turn to my father. At tumango lang siya

"Do you even love me? Wait, no—Am I even your real child?"

"Alexandra stop it," sabi ng kuya Gino ko na halatang nagulat sa sinasabi ko.

"Princess you're being rude. Magulang natin sila," Kuya Joshua said with a warning.

"Oo mga kuya magulang natin sila, pero what kind of parents are they? They used me as a collateral for their freakin' debt!" Nababakas ang gulat sa mga mata ng mga kapatid ko, at doon ko napagtantong wala silang alam sa nangyayari.

"What's happening, mom? Dad?" my second brother asked, disbelief is evident in his voice.

The atmosphere is heavier now, pero wala paring imik ang nanay namin. "Why can't you tell them, Mother?"

Our mother put her utensils down and wiped the smudge out of her face like this was the most normal family dinner ever. She rose from her seat and walked towards the hall's exit but before she completely left the room she said, "To my office Alexandra, let us talk. This matter wasn't supposed to be discussed over dinner anyway." And there she goes, walking gracefully to her office.

Silence fell upon us, until Aya spoke. "Ahhm the steak tastes good, don't you guys think?" My Kuya Gino tossed the table napkin into her face out of annoyance.

I excused myself and went straight to my mother, we need to settle this once and for all.

Hindi na ako nag abala pang kumatok. Nakita ko si mommy na nakatayo sa gilid ng floor to ceiling window habang umiinon ng wine. She asked me here for this drama, seriously?

"Why do you hate Allen so much Alexandra? He's smart, he's handsome, and he loves you. Do you still have feelings for that Revilles? My God Alexandra, he's married! What do you wanna become, a mistress? Is that what you want?" I know Allen is almost perfect but, I don't want perfection, I just want honesty, and that he's not.

"I hate liars' mom and you know that," I rebutted.

"He did that for you, you should be thankful," mother said in a stern voice.

"Why would I be thankful, I never asked him to do that. I didn't even know him until he showed up out of nowhere." I stopped for a bit. "Mom I know about the whole agreement on merging the companies, but is it really worth my freedom?" naramdaman ko yung mga luhang nag-uunahan pababa.

My mother faced me, for the first time since we started this conversation.

"You marrying him isn't about the merge and the deal anymore Alexandra. This is about your future, I want to see you live a happy life and Allen can give you that. Don't you see? I only want what's best for you. Allen will take care of you, he's capable in every aspect there is. He will do everything for you sweetheart because he loves you." The way my mother talked surprised me, she's calm and reasonable.

I understand where she's coming from but I just cannot let her—them do that for me. It is my choice because this is my life we are talking about.

"Mom please, just stop this marriage. I don't want to go through with it," my voice pleading.

For most people, they might think of me as stupid. Who wouldn't? I'm turning down a wedding to a capable man just for my freedom. But can you blame me? I know Allen is a good guy and he's not hard to love however, my love for him is like what siblings had for one another. I don't want to take him for granted, I'm not that selfish.

"Why can't you give Allen a chance Alexandra? Just give it a try. Maybe then you'll realize that he's good enough to replace your ex-lover, Ryan."

"Mom! No one is getting replaced by someone! I am so over Ryan. The reason why I can't marry Allen is not because I hate him, I love Allen mommy but as a brother. And you can't marry your brother, it's incest!" I will do everything I can to stop this joke of a marriage. If I need to lower my pride then I would.

I stared at my mother with tears glistening in my eyes as I slowly bent my knees down. I kneeling to plead for everything to stop.

"Please Mom, don't do this, please." I'm crying my eyes out, I can't stop.

"Stand up Alexandra." My mother's cold voice distracted me from crying. I lift my head to meet her eyes

I can see some emotions in her eyes that I cannot name.

"Allen Bermundo loves you so much he's willing to give up his happiness in exchange for your freedom. He called the wedding off, he said it's the only way to make you happy." She looked at me for the last time and walked past me but before I could ask her a question she cut me off. "You have a good guy right there Alexandra so good that he's willing to suffer from pain and loneliness just to see you smile. Enjoy your freedom." And with that, my tears came gushing down again.