Euphoria

10: Misunderstanding is the reason for pain

That was it! As if heaven had given Maya the key to her fate in her hands. Maya would never mistake his honey coated voice  even in her worst nightmares. Maya felt her head getting lighter,
"You came! I needed you so badly!"
Without a thought, Maya wrapped her arms around him. She sobbed in his well built chest. Inhaling a decent amount of his fragrance. He taken aback by the sudden hug, decided to return the favour, of course after thinking a bit. Maya was shivering and sobbing, as he felt his heartbreak into millions.
"Shh... Calm down. I will be with you Maya. Always."
"No you won't! You are an idol..."
Realisation kicked in. Maya broke the hug quickly bowing,
"You are an idol! I'm so so so sorry! I didn't mean to..."
He found Maya... Cute. How she got flustered over the cutest mistake. He chuckled, joking to make her laugh,
"It's okay. It won't matter much if I get into a scandal. It might just boost my popularity..."
"Stop! You can't do whatever just because your popularity. Tomorrow, Sasaengs are trying to sexualise your group. Specially the Maknae Line. They think you guys won't object as you are mere Nugu..."
"How do you know all about this?"
He cut her off, cocking an eyebrow. He heard his heart crack. Why did she know all these? Was she just another sasaeng? Why?
"My..."
"You are a Sasaeng..." 
He scoffed, again cutting her off. And suddenly, she couldn't see anything but darkness in his eyes. Maya scoffed back, seeing nothing but hatred in his eyes. So he was mistaking her as a Sasaeng now?
"That wasn't a question. You are declaring your thought."
Maya chuckled sarcastically, as tears flowed down her eyes. Her nose runny from all the crying and her breathing hitched.
Why could he not trust her? She does. Why does she even trust him? And if she can trust him, why can't he?
"Please prove me wrong. I don't want to walk away with this stiffening pain. Please prove me wrong."
He looked her in the eyes. Face red from crying. Lips agape. She stared him down. Her eyes burning his soul.
"How can I prove you wrong, when you've made your mind?"
He could see precious tears slowly come out of her eyes. He wanted to hold her and believe her every word. But he just couldn't. If she was a Sasaeng, and he was solo, he would probably kiss her by now. But he would disappoint his Hyungs if he did so. His Hyungs are working just as hard as him.
Maya shivered, quickly rubbing off her tears. How dumb of her to look this fragile in front of him! She bit her plump lips, trying to stop the hiccups. She cleared her throat,
"It was stupid of me to do all this. But... I just felt like doing so. I just felt like I needed you. I can't give you any proof that I am not a psychopath. Wanna know why? Cause pyschopaths look just like humans. Look at me, does it show that I visit a therapist every other day? No! But, if you take my word and believe me, then I tell you, I am NOT A SASAENG."

Maya kicked the can away. Feeling lost entirely. Her mascara running down. She shouldn't have cried over him. He was bound to leave.

"I want to believe you, but..."
He took her delicate hands in his. The size difference prominent. Her cold chuckling sending a shiver down his spine,
"But you can't?"
With a sudden jerk, she took her hands out of his. She chuckled, trying to hide her weaknesses,
"May you always have the curse of guilt."

"May you always have the curse of guilt... Like I always will. The guilt of being misunderstood. The guilt of not explaining myself. The curse of you."
Maya murmured to herself, walking aimlessly around Seoul. Amongst everyone, no one actually knew her. No one did. She was a nobody. She was no one. She was just a girl with no control over her mind. She was alone out there.
Maya felt empty, with all these pain. Why was she even feeling this way? Because, even though she knew him from the bottom of her heart, he didn't even know whether she was telling the truth or not.
Did she really know him from the bottom of her heart now? Cause she sees him every night? Was that really him? Or was it just a different soul? Well, Maya wasn't the same popular and desired girl in that realm. So wasn't he a Nugu. He was a world renowned idol. But again, Maya had the same core values there as of here. Could it possibly be that he is still the person she loves? The Prince of her dreams? The doe eyed Jeon?
She wanted to run away. Her head was too jammed up. This back and forth between dreams and reality. It's killing her. She wanted to lock herself in a room. She was alone anyways. No one was hers in this busy Seoul.

Another cup down. Can someone die from caffeine overdose? Guess she'll find out. But no way is she sleeping tonight. She can't see him again. She just doesn't want to see him again. She stood up, thinking of brewing another cup of coffee. But her knees going weak and her limbs breaking down. She glanced at the clock.
Damn it! It was 11:58. It was about time that the numbing pain takes over her.
No! She shall not give in today. She shall fight back. She shall... She groaned with pain. Screaming, as tears flowed out of her eyes. She stumbled on the broken coffee mug, gaining cuts and bruises. But she didn't care. No matter what, she won't fall back tonight. She won't see him again. She can't afford to fall for him anymore. She needs to find a way to stop these nightmares. She's standing on the verge of insanity. And she doesn't want to go insane. She's already madly in love with him.