Euphoria

18: Cause of my Euphoria

Jeon... Jeon... Jeon...
Good thing the numb pain was back. She isn't going to give up today. No matter what! He's beside her now. If anything goes south, he would be there for her. She needs to remember her name on her own. She needs to try before giving up and asking him. But wouldn't it be awkward?
Jeon... Kookie... JK...

Take my hands now
Annyeonghaseyo Jeoneun
You are the cause of my euphoria
Bangtan Sonyeondan
Euphoria
Hwanggeum Maknae
Euphoria
Jeon...

"Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook."
She mumbled gasping for breath. Her head felt lighter with each second. He hummed, hearing his name from her lips for the first time. Her broken voice breaking him even more. But he just loved how his name rolled off at the end of her tongue. Jeon Jungkook.
She howled, burying her face in his well built chest,
"You don't know what I'm going through..."
"Yeah... But I am here to hear your every single story. I'm here to hold you whenever you need me."
She looked him in the eyes,
"I need you every moment of my life now. I've fallen for you twice, and then fallen down. I fell for her..."
"What did you say?"
Everything changed. Damn you Maya! Korea was a conservative country. You can't just go around and say that you are bisexual. Even you couldn't admit it yourself a few days ago! How do you expect a boy...
"You fell for me twice?"
His eyes glowing. The same glow she saw when she called her by his last name for the first time. Jeon. She giggled through her tears. She pinched his cheeks,
"Actually thrice. I fell for two names, thrice. Twice for Jeon Jungkook. And once for TokkiKookie."
He giggled like a toddler. Shaking his fists in the air. He was wrong all through out. She loves her. She fell for him. Her heart warms up for him.
"I love you Illusion!"
He softly pecked her red cheeks. Her cheeks were warm. From crying and all these. Her cheeks gained more colour at his action. He deepened his voice in a rather comical manner,
"Joesunghamnida, my lady."
She softly smacked his biceps,
"Why are you sorry, Hwangjanim?"
They exchanged a look, before bursting into laughter. Laughing their heads off, gone out of their minds.

"You sure Maya?"
Maya held his hands, fear of losing him again building inside her heart. He had dressed her wounds, carefully enough to not hurt her. He was wounded as well. Maya wanted to dress his wounds as well, but he just kept denying. He was way too shy.
"Maya, you are wounded and I doubt that you ate anything since last night. Please let me carry you to your house. It's really close by."
"No. I-I-I'm way to-too..."
Her voice shaking. Those nightmares have hit were it hurts. The thoughts stub her. The insecurities sink deep,
"Obese."
Maybe she isn't pretty. Maybe she's overweight. That's why Areum didn't... Maya! Areum is a closed chapter! Stop thinking about Areum! She doesn't love you. He does.
He shook his head in disbelief. She was insecure. Why? Well JK, it's on you to prove her wrong. She would of course return the favour with time. When he would need her the most. Here goes nothing!
Without a forewarning, he picked Maya up on his back. Taken aback by surprise, Maya quickly higged him, holding him tight.
"You are wounded yourself Jungkook. I'm overweight, trust me. You would wear yourself out."
"I'm wounded, but atleast I'm not barefoot, tired and my wounds are dressed. You aren't overweight at all. You are perfect just the way you are. Stop punishing yourself. You are soft and cute and pretty... Like a little kitten. I won't wear myself out by giving you a piggyback ride. You are perfect just the way you are Maya."
"That's because you love me."
Maya mumbled, trying her best to not rest her weight on him. She was adamant on believing that she was overweight. He giggled,
"And I love you for YOU. I love you for someone you are. I love you for someone you'll become. Change is a part of this world. But I'll love you no matter what. Now, would you mind holding me properly, you'd fall otherwise. You are not at all heavy, Maya."
Maya looked at him. Admiration pouring out of her cat eyes. He was carrying her on his back, quite easily. He was chatting as well. Maya heard every word of him. His voice was pur honey.
"Thank You Hwangjanim."
She mumbled before hugging him tightly.
"Just love me, okay?"
He giggled. Honestly, nothing mattered other than her now.

"Here. The very last one."
Jungkook checked on her wounds. She lives alone here and the bathroom is filled with shards of broken glass. Specifically the mirror's. Could she be self harming herself? Why? Her life seemed so... Perfect!
"Maya?"
"Hmm?"
Maya hummed, feeling a bit more alive. She wasn't alone and that was all. Jungkook wrapped his arms around her. Tightly hugging her. His hands then cupped her beautiful face,
"I have to go now..."
She felt a tug at her heart. Of course he had to leave! Why was she acting delusional. He has a life of his own. A busy idol life to be exact. And he would come back. It's not he's going away forever.
He saw how her eyes lost the sparkle. To be honest he wanted to stay back as well. But it was about time they comeback. He had dance practices, gym, recordings. He had gone off schedule the last few days, breaking rules. He doesn't want his Hyungs to suffer. He continued, with an ached smile,
"but I'll be back. And I'll call you whenever I can. Till then take care of yourself. You are perfect just the way you are. I love you. Don't skip meals, don't hurt yourself. And no matter when you need me, if you need me or feel unusual or for any damn reason, just call me up. I'm always there for you. I love you. Can I trust you with yourself Maya? I swear on the heavens. After this comeback, I'll help you out. I'll help you out with the anxiety attacks you have. With your issues. I'll hear you out anytime you want me to. Just know that, you are my one and only. Please don't hurt yourself. You end up hurting me."
Jungkook matched his lips on her forehead. She was scared of being alone. He liked being alone. She was always wanted, but never admired. He was admired way too much. She was always perceived to be happy and smiley. But no one thought of the fire within her. He was always seen as cold and mysterious. No one noticed the light he spread. They had no common grounds. They only held each other's missing pieces.