Euphoria

24: Tell Me Your Every Story

"I'm not normal, Jungkook."
Maya said, her heart was undressing. Undressing out of the perfectness she holds. She felt like spilling every little detail about her. The dreams as well.
"No one is normal in this world, Maya."
Jungkook saw how she was letting go off some covers she held. He kissed her forehead.
Maya was adamant. She whispered,
"No. I'm not like the others. I have some issues. Jungkook, I get nightmares since forever. Horrible nightmares. Nightmares where I was bullied and my only hope in that blue and grey world was... You. It was you JK. I don't know why. It was you. I always thought they were just nightmares, till I met you. Remember the first time we met? Well, we just crossed paths. I bumped into you. That's all. But I saw your doe eyes. I knew who you were. You were the doe eyed boy from dreams. Lemme start from the beginning I'm a bit messed up now."
Maya paused, he hummed, as if agreeing with her. Yes, he wants to hear everything tonight.
Maya inhaled sharply, he needs to know her. Would he leave? No, he loves her. Right?
"So, I've been seeing these nightmares since I can remember. At first, I used to see me, but in a really miserable way. My Indian mom, who had been sold by her own parents at a young age, vented every single thing on me. I didn't know who my father was, neither did my mother know. I was abused by her and she abused drugs. There were men who used to come by every night. And outside my house, I would be bullied. Because of my ethnicity. Because of my feautures. These things weren't normal things to dream about right? They were just driving me nuts. And in this realm, I was adopted by a wealthy couple who would give me all the luxuries, in the whole world. So naturally I was confused about the dreams. Cause it was the polar opposite of my reality. But as I grew up, I began to realise the hatred I saw in those dreams were actually here as well. But I kept denying it. There was this complex going in my mind. And honestly I didn't get even a bit of help from my parents. They thought I was making things up. I really fought a lot to go visit a psychiatrist. Years and years of therapy, counselling. And nothing more than just heavier doses of sleeping pills. I changed therapists often, since they weren't helping much. I was in denial, complete denial that the dreams are anything more than just imagination. And then I met you. I bumped into you. By that time I had moved out and wa son my own. So I was up really late, thinking about you. It wa smy first time staying up do late. Since I used to take sleeping pills, I usually fell asleep early. Then as soon as the clock struck 12, I started hearing distorted voices and a piercing pain through my everything. I can't describe the pain. There's no way I can put it in words. You know?"
"I know."
"Well, then I dreamt of getting closer to you every night. But in this realm, your slightest mention would bring back the pain. Then came Areum. I was torn between you and her. Every moment I was the one getting hurt. You showed up everytime I needed you. Either as TokkiKookie or yourself. But I only remembered your first name and YOU. Then came the Sasaeng incident. And that was the first time I tried my luck. I was already drowning in the darkness. So I tried to scream, at the very last moment, when the dream was about to end. I screamed about the Sasaeng. I don't know if you heard it or not. I still went out on a limb. The dreams were going good. I had started to think whether or not I switched realms. I was going through a lot and was trying to fight back. My first turning point was remembering your band name. Bangtan Sonyeondan. Then came your name. Jeon Jungkook. I'm slowly trying to get stronger but no matter what I try, Jungkook. I still am not normal."
At this point, Maya felt a strangling feeling at the back of her throat. She really disappointed Jungkook. Didn't she? Damn it! She can never forget how he's eyes glowed up when he got to know that SHE knows HIM.
She rubbed her tears aggressively, with the back of her palm,
"I'm sorry. I disappointed you. I wanted to tell you the truth and ask you your name thousands of times. But I didn't want to hurt you back then. I saw how happy you were. And all I've been is lying. I'm sorry but do I really deserve your love?"
Jungkook didn't hesitate one bit,
"You deserve my whole world."
Jungkook rested his head on top of hers. Her tiny frame in between his. Sitting down on the grass, as the river quietly floated by. He pecked the top of her head. She was shaking a bit. Shivering almost. Her body was warm. Did she have a fever? Was she sick? Jungkook hugged her tighter. She sniffled, laying a wet patch on his white shirt.
Maya felt horrible. He would leave her. Why would he be eith someone like her? She has zero control over her emotions. Everything she says, makes no sense. Her insecurities take the best of her and her mind's been killing her lately.  You are such a weak one Maya.
Jungkook felt his heart break into tiny pieces. He had failed to protect the very person he loved. He didn't feel like letting her go. As if she'd break any second. Wish he could stay with her forever.
Should he let all his walls down? He wanted her to figure out on her own. But he needs to assure Maya, that he truly loves her and they aren't much different. He loves her more than anything.
His chest rising unusually, his eyes closed. His voice breathy and soft,
"Maya..."