Euphoria

12: Your Sasaeng

"Can you stop tapping your foot? It's annoying!"
He got scolded by his Hyungs for the third time. But he couldn't help that he was anxious. He was constantly sweating and chewing his bottom lip.
The leader patted his back,
"Don't worry. We've told Bang PD-nim. He has ensured that he would work his best about our security. But we are Nugus after all..."

"They think you guys won't object as you are mere Nugu..."

"No Hyung. We deserve safety regardless of whether we are famous idols or not. We deserve security. Consent is a thing, you know? And being sexualized without my consent, is the last thing on my mind."
RM smiled at his dongsaeng. He had grown up. Almost over night. Shoutout to the girl on his mind. Shoutout to his muse.
"We'll do our best JK. We'll do our best. Now, cheer up. We've got a few fans to look up to."
He looked at his Hyung. Smiling through the pain and pressure. RM totally was leader material. Kim Namjoon. The warm boy with dimples, who faught against the society and kept all the scars to himself. The tall leader, with the cutest dimple smile who acts as a shield. His Namjoonie Hyung.

"The security is really strong Sunbae. The boys have been provided with protection..."
"Who did you tell, Areum? Any friend?"
She didn't have friends apart from sasaengs. Well except... Oh gosh!
"No no! Sunbae I didn't tell anyone! No friend at all!"
"Then tell me, how did they double the security just last minute because a member kept on bugging about Sasaengs?"
Areum bit her lips, not knowing what to answer to the person on the other line.
"I don't know Sunbae."
"You have to pay a price for it Kwon Areum. You can't do a single job."
The sudden and abrupt call cut made Areum feel more helpless. Even her refelection mocking her. Her shaking fingers turning the knob as the cold water ran out of the tap. She really did fail the others. Didn't she?
She splashed her face with water. Immediately rummaging through her bag and taking out the makeup products. The brush aggressively rubbed against her skin. The products blending out more than needed. Breaking down, trying to hold up.

"Hi Army!"
He pulled his lips apart into a smile. Forcefully ofcourse. He saw a Sasaeng in every innocent fan. There weren't many fans. There were just enough. Even one fan matters to them. To him.
The girl in front of him smiled back. Round, porcelain cheeks, round eyes, black straight hair with bangs. Extremely skinny. A some kind of an innocent aura around her. She smiled at him.
"What's your name?"
He said, quickly moving his pen, he really wanted to get done with the event. The situation was stressful indeed, but she was in his mind. His brain was creating lyrics all of a sudden and he was humming complimentary tunes. He really needs to end this event and work on it. He can't disappoint his muse.
She scanned him. How pure he looked. Yet he had a dark side. A darker tone. He was absolutely easy to sexualise. He had the looks, the body, the personality. His doe eyes tinted with purity. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Mianhae, but those eyes can't help you. You need to be sexualized. You are way too talented and might as well beat the front runners of this competition.
"Kwon Areum."
His eyes quickly shot up,
"What did you say your name was?"
"So you are the member who informed the security?"
He smirked, looking for a guard. Areum whisper shouted at him,
"Before you call the guard, let me tell you that I know that you got to know from Maya."
All his confidence drained out in one go. His smirk reversed in an instance. His heart breaking completely. So she was a sasaeng!
"I'm not sure how a dumbhead like her got in contact with you. But let me tell you, if you get me caught now. Neither you nor her would be off the hook. Your career and her life. Poof! Gone! Think well."

"Get yourself together, Maya. Everyone is right. They are just dreams. They are nothing but dreams. They mean nothing."
Maya stared her reflection down. It was hard for her to get going with everything. He was in her mind. The cuts still sore. Why was he still coming in her dreams.
She washed her face. The warm water hitting her skin. The cucumber scent of her facewash calming her nerves. The dry towel softly soaking up the water. The water stinging her bruises. Did she care? No!
Her reflection looked... Normal. As if nothing has happened to her. Nothing at all. If only they could read eyes. Thankfully they can't.
She sat on the bed, tapping her phone. She felt empty. Not daring to even message TokkiKookie. What if he leaves as well? Of course he would leave! But as if on cue, to prove her wrong, her phone buzzed.

•TokkiKookie has sent a message

Maya lazily opened the chathead. Bombarded by texts since last night. But one catching her attention.

Yesterday 3:40 am

Have you ever gotten your heart broken?

She quickly scanned through the texts. Judging by the tone, Maya wasn't the only one failed by cupid.

Do you know how it feels to let go?
Do you know how it feels when the person you want to stay just ends up leaving?
It's quite late. I know you are asleep. Why am I in this all alone?

Today 8:17 pm

Are you still asleep? You are making me worried

Maya quickly sat bolt upright. She wasn't alone. He was going thrpugh same thing. She quickly typed in.

I'm sorry that I couldn't reply earlier. It's just that I'm going through a lot lately.

What's bothering you?
You can tell me if you want to.

You have to tell me yours in exchange then.
Deal?

Deal!

Well, firstly I'm confused with my feelings. I've started to like two people at once. Both are different and I feel as if I'm being pulled apart in two different directions.
Secondly, one of them is misunderstanding me. And I'm misunderstanding the other.
I just know what I'm going through. All I know is my heart is beating slower.

He felt his heart crack a bit. Rereading the same text again and again. She has feelings for someone other. It was bound to happen, wasn't it? But does it hurt less? No! Not even one single bit.