Allie - The teenage years of Alexander Horten

December 13 - 19, 2015

December 13, 2015
Sunday
Dear Diary

Today after Church, Dad tried to speak with me. He wanted to tell me that the world was a hard place. People judged each other and there was a social hierarchy. The simple fact was that homosexuals did not have a high status. Transgenders did not have a high status. Some even considered it a mental illness. He wanted me to be a son that he was proud of. He was worried that my life would be a hard one and that I would never be respected or accepted if I continued being a sissy.

I responded in a very calm way. I said I was not a sissy. I do not consider myself a boy or girl. I am genderfluid. I have nothing against wearing boys clothes and I had nothing against wearing girl clothes. I knew who I was, and it was up to people to accept it or think I was weird. I could not change what people would think.

Dad lost his patience and told me that I was a boy and he would do his best that I would not be anything else but a boy.

Aunty came for dinner. It was a very awkward situation. Dad refused to sit at the table and the only one that was speaking was mom. I was playing around with my food. I could not understand that we invited a woman that tried to kill my mother. She was also the one that caused me to have such an identity crisis. Now Mom has forgiven her. I could see the others in the family were not ready for this.

Aunty tried her best to speak to us and only mom was answering. When she asked me a question, I ignored her. Sarah was the only one that said what we all was thinking when she asked Aunty if she will try to kill mom again. I had to smile that there was silence after this question where everyone looked down at their food.

December 14, 2015
Monday
Dear Diary

Being Annie's boyfriend was so cool. I was now hanging around with the popular kids. They no longer saw me as a sissy or someone weird. I was Annie's boyfriend and I was about to be on Netflix. I was the local celebrity!

Annie could be bossy and she always spoke to me as I was a baby. She promised that she would tell no one about me wearing a diaper at her house. I do not know why I did not fully trust her. Should I not trust my girlfriend?

There was a huge story in the newspaper today about the mad doctor. It told about her given a boy experimental medicine to make him smaller and weaker and girl hormones. Noah must have read the story because he secretly joked that I was that boy. If he only knew that I was. I was relieved that my name was not in the article. It would have destroyed the new status I had at school.

December 15, 2015
Tuesday
Dear Diary

Andrew told me at school that he was worried about Bella. She was being bullied more and more. It was now that she needed her friends. He reminded me that she was the one to support us when we were being bullied. Andrew had a point. Since my new status at the school, I was hanging around with Annie and the cool children at school. This meant that Bella was often alone.

After school, when Sarah and I were being taken care of by Bellas granny, I tried to talk with Bella. She said she did not want to talk about it. I left it at that.

I got a letter from Antonio, the boy I met in Greece. He wrote that he had seen me in Teens Idol. Some of the modelling pictures that I took has made me known by some. Antonio was proud of me and at the same time, he hoped that fame would not swell my head. I looked at the teen idol page on the net and could see that I was at number 47! This was hard to believe. I did not consider myself famous. It was strange being on this page.

Am I already famous?

December 16, 2015
Wednesday
Dear Diary