Allie - The teenage years of Alexander Horten

September 20-26, 2015

September 20, 2015
Sunday
Dear Diary

I do not know why I was crying in bed all morning, It should have been one of the best days of my life. I did not wet the bed. Yet, here I was crying my head off. It seems that everything was wrong in my life. I had no friends now as Andrew and Bella were ignoring me. My sister was mad at me and Billy thought I was so weird. Even Dad hardly even spoke with me anymore.

Some people are simply not likable. Maybe I am one of them!

The choir was not the same. I half expected the boys to tease me, but they were all silent. I can tell you when you are not popular, at least teasing is some interaction you have with others. However, silence and being ignored is the worse thing anyone can experience.

After prayers, Father Immer told me that he wanted to speak with me.

"I notice the way the other boys are with you" he explained, "You are at an age where a boy needs friends. Teenagers can always be mean to each other. I can see you are special. You are more sensitive and delicate than the other boys. Your singing voice and the fact that you are very small means that you are different. I know this must be a lonely time for you. If you ever need to talk, you should know that I am here."

As I left, Father Immer told me that it even seemed like I was not growing!

Bella was waiting outside the Church. She told me that she was avoiding me because she found it hard believing that I would lie that I was dying. When I told her the whole story, she understood better. She asked me if we were still friends. I hugged her,

Bella told me that we were alike. The girls at school did not like her either.

September 21, 2015
Monday
Dear Diary

I did not wet the bed for the second day. I rushed down and told mom. She smiled and said that she knew it was only a phase as all the parenting books said the same. Mom also said that I do not need to wear diapers anymore!

I was so happy! I did not have to wear diapers and Bella was once again a friend.

I decided to end the feud with Sarah. When I came home from school, I asked her if she wanted to play dolls. Sarah became so excited and happy. As we played dolls, I told Sarah that we should never hate each other and fight as we did. She was my sister and I would always be there for her. She was more important than any friend that I could have.

Sarah hugged me and said she was sorry for how mean she was. She knew I was a boy, but missed me being her sister. I smiled and told her we should play with the dolls. Once again I was in a fantasy world that made me forget everything else. The dolls became a reality. I felt like all my problems disappeared.

I was sad when mom called us down to supper.

Dad congratulated me during supper about the fact that I did not need diapers anymore. He laughed and said that he was worried for some time, that I was one of the gay drag queens. I did not know what he meant by that, but at least he was now paying attention to me.

Sarah told them as she chomped on her food that she suspected that I would marry soon as she could see that Bella fancied me. That made me laugh so much

September 22, 2015
Tuesday
Dear Diary

I was no longer a baby wetting the bed and slowly people were forgiving me for the lie about dying. It was about time that I had put my old plan of what I should achieve as a teenager back on plan. I needed to be seen as one of the cool boys. In this way, Annie would finally notice me.
I called it "project teenager".

The school was going better. At least they were not ignoring me. One girl noticed that Sarah was growing fast and I still was 4 ft 7. That did not bother me. I would show them that being cool had nothing to do with my size.