Her first time

Chapter fifty-seven.

I look at Justin who is trying to put his shirt back on and then see him throw my brah and shoes in a corner of my room. I quickly cross my arms hoping she doesn't see I'm not wearing a brah. My ears are ringing right now and I can't even hear what she's saying.

I just know it's a lot of yelling. After the three longest minutes ever, my brain has processed everything and I can now hear her and understand what she's yelling. "Rachel Montez Lane, what were you thinking?   Why didn't you call me back? I had to hear from Eliot's mom at yoga that you broke up with him. Do you know how humiliating that was?"

She never says my full name only when she is freaking furiously mad.  I knew I had to go to war with her soon, but I hadn't thought it would be today of all days. "Yes, Mother I did. It wasn't supposed to happen like this but it did." I yell back at her "So this.. this... boy is he why you broke up with Eliot? This dirty punk troublemaker with no manners." 

she yells as she waves her arms around in his direction "Mother" I say through my teeth and my blood is starting to boil. I'm usually shy and sort of afraid when it comes to her. She has never hurt me physically or anything but she isn't shy when it comes to pointing out my mistakes:

Rachel, you can't wear that.

Rachel, you should curl your hair, this doesn't fit you.

Rachel, you should have done better on your test.

Rachel, you shouldn't eat that it makes you look even fatter.

Rachel, I don't think that's for you.

She can be a horrible person. She puts so much pressure on me to be perfect just like she pretends to be. It is so exhausting.

"Is this what you're doing all day? Skipping classes throwing anything away for some BOY" She yells, then Justin asks "Rach, I'm gonna go. I probably should go right?" I look at him and can only think that I do not want him to go my mother should.

"No Mother I'm not throwing anything away. I still have good grades." I yell at her and tell Justin to stay and he takes a seat on my bed like he's watching a movie. "I can't believe you, Rachel. You are so naive, all these boys just wanna get into your pants and you just open your legs for them the minute they show you some affection."

"No that's not at all what I'm doing" How can she say that?  I can't believe my ears right now. Does she think this low of me? My own mother thinks I'm a slut. " I thought you were smarter than that"  "Wow, lady do not talk to her like that. You're taking this too far." Justin says and takes a step forward as if he's trying to protect me.

My mother's face gets mean. She gets like this sometimes. Her facial expression changes she now looks like an evil witch. "Excuse me? You.. You. I don't even know what you're doing hanging around my daughter besides trying to get in her pants."  I try to think of a good comeback but before I can even open my mouth she is yelling in my face.

"After everything Eliot did for you, this is how you thank him." "I am not trying to get into her pants!"  Justin says angrily to my mother. He has no idea what he's up against. Although he is an unmovable object she can't be stopped. Maybe I should let them fight. This might be a good fight I should get some popcorn and watch in the front row my subconscious tells me.

"I certainly was not talking to you." She yells furious at Justin. "Mother this isn't like that," I yell and before I know I'm yelling in her face too. I'm so angry I can't describe how I feel right now. "Rachel I have talked to Eliot and he will want you back, but only if you won't see any of the people you call your friends."

How dare she come between me and Eliot. It is not her place to decide who I can and can not date or who I choose as friends. "No, you had no right to do that MOTHER." I yell while waving my arms in the air. I am so mad I want to smack or punch something, no not something someone, and that someone is my mother.

She makes me so angry sometimes. I feel the tears already coming and I hate it when I cry, but when I'm angry I always cry. I don't want to but I do and it makes me feel weak. I try to hide it and start pacing around the room. Justin absorbs the storm that's called my mother mutely and just remains standing there staring angrily and grilling at her.

If only looks could kill my mother would be dead right now. "Rachel you're out of control I don't recognize you anymore. This isn't you. Eliot would be so disappointed in you."  She says so calmly trying to convince me of something. "Well this is me now and I don't want to get back with Eliot." 

"Rachel you should think about this. He is good for you and he has a future and his family's money." She yells trying to connect with me while she touches my shoulder. I quickly turn around and knock her hand harshly off my shoulder. "STOP IT. STOP IT MOTHER" "Rachel you're throwing everything away you've worked so hard for. I want you to break up with this boy and work on your school"

I look her in the eye hoping she is kidding cause I am not breaking up with Justin. This is my choice and Eliot didn't even text me back, well not that that matters. I'm done with Eliot he is my friend and nothing more. "Are you serious right now?" I ask her

"Yes, you are going to break up with him. Then you will call me in the morning if you have calmed down." She says way too calmly that it makes me even more angry. "No mother I will not," I say and cross my arms. "What" she yells "I will not break up with Justin. Do you even know what I've been through?" I yell while the tears are rolling down my cheeks.