Her first time

Chapter fifty-eight.

"You pressuring me to be perfect all the time. All these rules you made up. You can only talk about behavior and presenting yourself in a good way. I know your life sucked and I'm honestly, truly sorry, but you can't control my life to make up for your own." "Rachel, what are you saying to me right now? You want to live your own life. Do you think you don't need me anymore?" "Yes, mother that's exactly what I'm saying. I need to live my own life. I'm eighteen now you have to let me live it" I yell at her, my blood still boiling through my veins and my anger getting worse when she walks to the door and opens her mouth again, she yells.

"Fine, have it your way. You want to live your own life. You can pay your bills, this dorm alone costs me thousands, you know!!!." I can't believe my ears right now is she threatening my education? Would she really do that? Justin stands up from the bed where he's been watching this movie so called "My Life" He patiently walks over to me and lays a hand on my back. To make me feel more at ease and although it does feel nice, it definitely doesn't take away the anger.

"Are you threatening my education? You're blackmailing me. So if I don't break up with him you won't pay for college anymore?" I ask trying not to yell this time. "Yes, that is correct young lady." Without thinking my flat hand hits her cheek, hard. Her hands move up to her face and cover the spot where I hit her. "Rachel Lane you are in no way my daughter anymore. Don't come crying back home when he breaks your heart and trust me he will!" She says through her teeth so calmly that it almost makes me feel guilty.

She flips her perfectly curled hair around and turns to walk out of my dorm. "I won't" I yell at her crying my eyes balls out. I can hear her high heels until she walks out of the building. I kneel on the floor crying with my head in my hands. For a minute I forgot that Justin was still here. He kneels beside me and puts his long muscular arms around me. He pulls me close to his chest. I sob against his t-shirt while he slowly pats my hair. "Rachel it's going to be okay. Trust me."

He says while he presses a kiss on my head. I wasn't prepared to go to war with my mother today, especially not when Justin was around. It makes me so angry that she cares so much about reputation and money, but not about me as a a person. That is also the reason why I didn't tell her Justin's dad is super-rich. Cause I do not care about money or reputation I never have and I never will. The only thing that matters to me is love and honesty. It appears to me that I am nothing like my mother and I will raise my children differently if I ever have a chance.

I had never thought that my mother's disagreement with who I love and date would let me too this. She has an opinion of literally everything and everyone. No one will ever be good enough. While I think about it I have come to know this fight with my mother has helped me in some way. If we never had this fight I wouldn't have disconnected myself from her and she would always be in charge of me and my life. I know that in some ways I'm lucky.

After a while, I stopped crying. To my surprise, Justin is still sitting on the floor comforting me and telling me it will be okay. Which I doubt, but at least I can make my own choices now. "Rachel, are you okay? I'm here okay. I will always be." He says with a calm voice I have never heard before. It sounds like he truly means it. He gestures for me to stand up by reaching out his hand. I take it without thinking and I know I always will. He pulls me into his arms and we just stand there for a while. He wipes away my tears and presses his lips against mine. 

Again the fireworks within me start, my skin starts to tingle and my head starts to spin. Every time our bodies touch it surprises me how much my body responds to him and how it makes me feel. I would give up anything for this feeling. I mean I would give up anything for him. I love him. "What you love him? Do you really? After everything?" My subconscious asks me, but I push that voice far back in my mind.