the golden guard/hunter preferences

★ i worry too much. (ONESHOT)

hi omg i always base oneshots off of music! and this one specifically is based off of a song my friend wrote aaaah please listen to their song! ^__^ thank you!

i worry too much by laruh

( i'm not sure what other platforms it's on other than spotify, but it's on yt!! )

————

i worry too much for somebody that's not yours, but what am i to do about it?
what gives me the wonder if i'm not your lover
why do i tend to overthink about us?
if it's not important right now

your feelings for hunter were something that you knew you couldn't let take over. but they were also something you knew you couldn't control easily. you didn't ask to have them, but you don't really want to get rid of them either.

you couldn't risk ruining your friendship with hunter, probably his only stable one with anyone in the coven, over your stupid feelings. he means a lot to you, and so do you for him, you hope. you're the only two at the coven who share a bond as more than just co-workers, and you didn't really wanna lose that. he's the only one at the coven who would ever understand you.

you and hunter were in your room, tired from a mission you had earlier. he would've went directly back to his room but you insisted on repairing his cape after a portion of it had been ripped.

" you really didn't have to, y/n. i have 4 more identical ones. "

" come on hunter, don't waste such a good cape! " you defend. gee, he really is a brat.

you continued to stitch his cape, while he went on about something steve did during the mission you had. you were paying attention, but at some point your mind had gone to it's usual cycle of thought.

what if you revealed your feelings to him right now? at this moment? in your room, with him in front of you babbling about another guard, and you sewing his ripped cape because you wanted an excuse to be alone with him for a while?

well, if you thought about it, he could have just went directly to his room, and allowed you to finish the cape since he DOES have other ones. but no, he chose to stay with you.

which probably means nothing right? he just wants to make sure you don't fuck up the cape? wait, does he think you'll fuck up? hopefully not.

but what if you DO confess? i mean, it won't hurt to try, wouldn't it? because how else are you going to get an answer? you couldn't hide it forever, he'd have to find out eventually. would it be worth it to risk losing what you and hunter have right now? titan, if he found out, would he even talk to you anymore? it's not like he feels the same anyway. though, in the rare case that he does, would you two push yourselves to the limit because of desperation? for it to only result in things not working out? and even worse, for things between you to end for good. besides, you both have responsibilities you need to focus on. you're not just friends at the coven, as if you were schoolmates at hexside, no. working at the emperor's coven was a serious job and if you two every got yourselves distracted in any way, titan knows what fate has in store for both of you.

all of it was scary to you. you were just another worker for the emperor,

and the golden guard knows better than to date some lowly witch at the emperor's coven.

the thoughts flood from there. thankfully, they didn't take over enough for you to no longer pay attention to what you were sewing. but dear titan you hoped that hunter would never mention that story again because you wouldn't want him to find out you weren't listening.

you finished sewing the rip on the cape, making sure that the stitch didn't look bad or too obvious. it wasn't perfect, but it was good enough. besides, what kind of weirdo would pay that much attention to a rip on a cape?

you hand it to him. " there you go. not exactly the best, but i hope it'll do. be more careful with your capes next time, goldstar. " you nudge his arm jokingly.

" hey! it wasn't me, it was that tree branch! " he retorts, causing both of you to laugh.

" thanks, y/n. i appreciate it. " he tells you, patting your shoulder softly, letting you know that he means it, pairing it with a soft look in his eyes.

you sigh and place your hand on top of his, hoping the dim lighting doesn't make your blush visible. it was at that moment that you wanted to ask him to stay, but you knew you couldn't.

eventually, he had to leave. he stands up, with the cape in his arms. " well, i guess i'd better head back. "

it was always at moments like these that you had the impulse to blurt out everything you had just thought of, hoping that you wouldn't have to hide it any longer. always whenever you two were parting ways, and you wondered why.

you were nervous, a lump forming in your throat. it's now or never? literally at LEAST 3 words to say, and then you're done. it doesn't matter anymore how he'll react (for now) but what matters is it gets out. you've waited long enough, when else would you tell him?

but is it the right thing to do? is now really the BEST time to do it? oh titan why was saying how you feel so HARD. it's even worse when you're unsure of how hunter really feels about you because you're convinced it's just friendly behavior, probably because he's never had a real friend before.

your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your door opening, signalling that hunter was leaving.

" wait, hunter-" you say, causing him to stop and turn to look at you, half of his body already out the door.

you take a deep breath, trying to get the words to come out of your mouth.

" have a good night. okay? "

he gives you a soft smile. " i will. thank you, y/n. you too " he replies before exiting your room and closing the door.

you exhale deeply, some weight lifted off your shoulders, but not all of it of course. your felt that your words to hunter were incomplete. and you knew exactly what words were missing but....you couldn't get yourself to say it.

you sat down on your bed, gazing at the door where hunter just was a few seconds ago. you stared at it so sentimentally,  you hoped he wouldn't suddenly come back inside for whatever reason.

as you linger on what may and may not be, you think to yourself.

i truly do worry too much for someone that's not yours, hunter. will i ever do anything about it?