Ambivalent

14. Confused

Akara

Thank God, I didn't have to try so hard for the plan in my mind as Som came up with a Karaoke bar plan. All I had to do was to act authoritative and mock Rune, and VOILA! He said we would be there. Stupid.

When they went to the class, I called Mr. Kamol and asked him to send a man to the bar for the ploy I planned.

That night, I waited until Rune went to the restroom and sent the man in to scare him. I dawdled around for a few minutes before rushing to the restroom. Like we planned, we pretended to fight a little bit, even decorating it with a simple cut on my arm while another man recorded the fight to show it to Aof.

I wished I could say everything went according to the plan, but no. The moment I pulled Rune up, he hissed with pain and I realised the man shoved him hard to the wall. Idiot, even though I told him to be gentle, he managed to hurt Rune.

Apologetically, I directed him to a taxi and the poor creature couldn't even lean back on his seat. After what happened in the village, I could only imagine the condition of his back.

When we reached his house, I told him to rest and attempted to go to my room to check the ointments I had. However, Rune dragged me to his room though he kept saying I wasn't allowed to enter it. There, he took out an incredibly big first-aid kit.

"Don't look at me like this, I get hurt so easily."

I wasn't sure why but his words bothered me, creating a strange tingle in my heart. As I was drowned in my thoughts, I didn't even realise he was cleaning my wound. He even blew on it so it wouldn't sting... as though it would hurt. I reached for the bandage, but he blocked me, bringing our faces pretty close. His eyes opened widely, but he didn't show any attempt to lean back.

If I closed that one inch between us, he wouldn't mind...

But I couldn't... I didn't want to taint him like that when I...

Then he flinched back and the moment was lost. I saw him wrapping my wound with shaky fingers and unwittingly he landed a kiss on the bandage, making a strange warmth spreading through it to my stomach.

Being afraid of the alien feeling, I tried to escape from the room, but the guilt stopped me. I told him that I wanted to check his back; however, his shyness kicked in and he refused immediately. As usual, I mocked him and he was half-naked a second after, dying to prove me wrong.

Although I guessed it was bad, the sight was beyond my imagination. His porcelain white back was covered by nasty purplish-reddish bruises as if he was beaten for days with a stick. After the initial shock, I pushed him on the bed and applied ointment on his back carefully, trying not to hurt him more than that.

"Sleep here tonight or I will sit on the floor and nurse you."

Damn, I really didn't want to be near him as my feelings were all messed up, yet I found myself lying next to him. As if testing my conscience, Rune thanked me for everything, being clueless about my hidden agenda, and I couldn't help but apologise for everything I did and I would.

It would be so nice if it was the end of the day so that my feelings could finally rest. However, at three am, I woke up with a start, hearing Rune mumbling incoherently.

He was panting heavily while convulsing severely. I shook him as I called out his name repeatedly, and finally he opened his bloodshot eyes. He gasped for air, his body shaking like a leaf. The sight was so pitiful that I pulled him to my chest, rubbing his arm while saying soothing sentences.

Look what happened... I only wanted to set up a plan to persuade Aof about my efficiency, but poor Rune was not only injured but also traumatised by it. Damn it!

Thank God, before regret gnawed at me completely, he recollected himself though he was reluctant to sleep. Brimming with guilt as well as responsibility, I granted his wish and talked with him about trivial things.

A small cafe at the seaside... a spacious house with a garden... Chicken Pad Thai...

I learnt lots of unnecessary information about him which made my heart kind of happy. Why? I didn't know, just like I didn't know why I held his hand under the blanket.

As my actions started to get out of my control like my feelings, I decided to put some distance between us.

Like I planned, Aof was convinced about my efficiency once he saw the restroom fighting video, so I still had time to find a weakness of Aof. I ignored Rune as much as possible, making him fume with anger. Damn, if I wasn't that impressed by his calculating-the-bill show, the day would be over without any interaction. Well, actually no. I had to interact with him anyway as I had to re-apply ointment to his back.

I knew I confused him greatly with my hot-cold behaviour, but there was nothing I could do because I was also confused by myself...