Ambivalent

24. Guess Who's Back

Rune

"Hey Rune, what do you think about my new bodyguard?"

It must have been a nightmare, otherwise Panit and Akara wouldn't fit together into my sight.

Now, it was official, the universe really didn't like me any.

Sucking a shaky breath, I kept standing there, pretending I didn't feel anything. Thanks to Akara, I also got pretty good at pretending during those months. Although I put too much effort not to look at Akara's direction, from my peripheral vision I could see how much he changed. He looked like losing too much weight and he was emanating a sombre aura.

Mustn't he be happy? He both got his revenge and tons of money... Then what the hell was he doing in the hotel, working for Kamol?

None of my business, not anymore, I said inwardly while outwardly saying "be careful, he is a master of back-stabbing... figuratively and literally."

Satisfied by the shock expression on their faces, I walked past them without giving Akara a second glance. I was stronger now as I didn't have anything to lose. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of breaking me down again.

Keeping this mentality, I ignored Akara for two weeks. As if I wasn't suffering enough from constant fatigue and headaches, he was adding more to my problems. As I was not going to the cafeteria for lunch to avoid the taunting, I thought Akara couldn't dare bother me in my office, but I was wrong.

Bringing me meals, giving me some pills for headache, coming to apologise... He was constantly bothering me, never letting me breathe, even in my office. I had no idea about his hidden agenda like the first time, but at least I was smarter this time. I threw everything he brought into the trash bin and ghosted him.

My efforts seemed to work as he stopped coming after a few days. Interestingly, by that time, Ying started to give me some stuff, even sandwiches. I was suspicious that it was Akara' doing, but confronting Ying, she convinced me that she felt sad, seeing me down all the time.

After Akara stopped bothering me, things almost got back to normal. Almost... if that bastard Panit wasn't that stupid. Thanks to his ignorance about how the accounting worked, I had Akara in front of me again.

Damn it! No matter how much I tried, a sharp pain was piercing through my heart whenever I saw Akara's face. To make things worse, he looked genuinely sad and tired.

Can he be telling the truth this time? Did he really regret what he had done?

Whatever. It was too late to lament.

I shook my head slightly and focused on the bills of Panit. He was indeed an idiot, who would send his striptease club bills to add to the company expenses?

I sent the bills back and as expected from Panit, he barged into the office with Akara tailing him. As it wasn't something new, I didn't even flinch. I kept sitting there calmly, even after Panit threw the bills on my face. Usually, throwing would be followed by some punches or pushes, but before he could do something, Akara grabbed him tightly, stopping him.

Was it worry what I saw in his eyes?

Damn, before I could be sure, Akara already dragged Panit out. Heaving a sigh, I closed the office door and went back to my seat. Though I wouldn't say out loud, I wished Panit didn't hurt Akara because of his disobedience.

Well, I should have been worried about myself more.

One day later, I received a package, the sender is unknown. I thought it was related to the hotel, so I opened it and my soul left my body.

A bloody dead chicken...

My stomach churned and falling on my knees, I started to throw up into the trash bin. As I was quite disoriented, I didn't notice when someone entered the office, but I felt the soothing circles on my back and heard the calming voice.

After I finished throwing up, a gentle hand cleaned me up and even carried me to the sofa. As my vision was highly blurry, I couldn't see the person, but at that moment, I didn't care. Gladly, I snuggled up to the warm body which was holding me dear and tried to calm myself down.

Luckily, I recollected myself rather quickly, but this situation made me see the person who helped me.

Akara.

I pushed him away from me immediately as I remembered that Akara was the only person I told about my chicken fear. I accused him and he denied fervently.

"I know what I did is unforgivable, but I never wanted to hurt you, I swear. Everything you confided in me is still safe, I didn't tell anybody."

The agitated expression on his eyes made me think that he was telling the truth. Being torn between the possibilities, I slumped on the sofa again, feeling drained both emotionally and physically.

(Ironically, later I remembered the incident when Panit and I were at my grandfather's farm many many years ago. There a chicken chased me and caused my chicken phobia while Panit was laughing non-stop.)

Suddenly, everything seemed so insignificant. What would it change whether Akara was the one selling me out or not? The damage was already done, so at the end, it didn't even matter. I shared this thought with Akara and wanted him to leave me alone, but he said he would take me home.

Taking me home! Of course, I objected, but he was adamant.

"Unbelievable..." I mumbled, yet the relief in my heart was undeniable. No matter how much I tried to deny, I knew I would be highly on the edge and nightmares would haunt me; therefore, Akara's self-initiated offer was too tempting.

Still, I kept an annoyed face and we arrived at my apartment building in silence.

"Don't tell me you are living here..." he mumbled with horror.

That one sentence ignited my anger again. Come on, what else does he expect?! He knew Kamol got everything we had -thanks to his great contribution- so his shock was completely bullshit.

I should have chosen to confront my own fears rather than this hypocrite...