Ambivalent

34. The Whole Story

Akara

I didn't plan to break down in front of Rune, but I couldn't hold in anymore when he accused me of being a liar.

Still, it worked by some miracle. I felt Rune's presence in front of me and my hands were grabbed by light force. Overwhelmed by agony, my head dropped to his chest. Being an angel, Rune didn't push me away, he rather started to rub my back in a soothing manner. I knew I was pushing my luck, but I couldn't help but circling my arms around his thin waist. His warmth helped me a lot and I felt myself calming down significantly.

When I broke the hug, I held Rune's hands and said "I will tell you everything."

Rune looked at me with apparent fear in his lovely eyes, so I rubbed his hands with my thumbs and smiled at him reassuringly. Then I put him on the bed and locked the door for some privacy. Sitting on the bed, I grabbed his hands again.

"Revenge wasn't the only reason for my despicable act," I confessed without beating around the bush.

His eyes widened with shock, but he remained silent.

"Shortly after your father assigned me as your bodyguard, Kamol called me and told me that your father snatched the hotel from him and was running illegal business alongside the hotel business."

"What?" Rune interrupted me with a horrified expression.

"Let me finish," I said softly and patted his hand, "Kamol claimed that your father was doing a perfect job, hiding the illegal activities, so he needed my help with the task. In order to convince me, he sent me a video clip of your father ordering my family's death."

Hearing the last part, Rune broke eye contact and fidgeted uncomfortably as though it was his fault. I put my hand under his chin and gently lifted his head back.

"Kamol said a sex tape would be the fastest way, but I didn't want to do it. I searched around to find evidence, but you had no clue about your father's doings. No matter how much I tried to stay away from you, you found your way into my heart, so I couldn't bring myself to hurt you. Well... until Kamol sent me some files of children with AXT+1. He said your father decided to kidnap those children and sell them to rich AXT-1 patients like you."

"No... no way..." Rune shook his head vigorously, tears welling in his eyes. I cupped his face and dried the stray tears. He swallowed a sob before saying "then?"

I took a deep breath as the upcoming part was too difficult to say out loud. "It caused the expected effect. I was so angry, but still didn't want to use you for Kamol's dirty plans. Therefore, I wanted to tell you everything. That night when you sent me to Som's house, I was trying to share my secrets."

"But I snapped at you and told you that I didn't care about my blood donors," Rune said with a shaky voice, tears falling from his sad eyes.

I nodded slightly, "indeed, what you said made me boil with anger, but still, I shouldn't have done that to you. It was so despicable and I still hate myself for doing it. When you fainted, my heart almost stopped-"

"It was you who took me to the hospital?"

I nodded again, "I took you to your doctor's office and called Som to come before I left."

After that, there was silence in the room until Rune broke it.

"What did you do during those three months?" he asked hesitantly while looking at me with clear curiosity.

"I went to the seaside and stayed in a cheap motel. During that time, I did nothing other than hating myself and thinking about you."

"Why did you return?" Rune asked softly without any accusation.

"It was time for your transfusion," I said honestly, "I came to donate blood for your next transfusion."

He looked at me with an opened mouth, so I reached and pushed his chin up and caressed his quivering lips with an irrepressible urge.

"Once here, I learnt that you stopped receiving transfusions, so I went to your house. However, your house was already sold and you were nowhere to be found. With my final resort, I came here and waited for you to visit your father."

"Did you do that?!" Rune exclaimed with disbelieved eyes.

I nodded shyly as I let myself be caught red-handed. "I swear I didn't know what happened to you. If I knew..."

"If you knew...?"

"I would never leave you here on your own," I confessed for the first time and Rune blushed visibly.

"Is it why... you came to the hotel? Because of... me?" There was hope in his voice and fear in his eyes.

"Yes," I said, nodding, "as it was me who caused you all this misery, I wanted to be around you to help you."

"I..."

"You don't have to believe me," I intervened to reassure him, "I did you a great wrong and you have every right to hate me, but please let me finish."

He nodded with hesitancy.

"Your uncle deceived me, he didn't stop the illegal business, the hotel still runs all kinds of dirty business."

"What?" Poor Rune, shock after shock...

"A few days ago, Panit met Jake who is the biggest prostitution lord in Thailand," I said as I grabbed Rune's hands, "please believe me, I-"

"I believe you."