Ambivalent

32. Sadness & Anger

Akara

Four days.

I searched Panit's office, checked his cellphone and navigation system. Nothing. Nada. Apparently, Kamol was smart enough to keep his son away from the important stuff.

Indeed, I was irritated to my very core, but at least something positive happened; Rune agreed to go to work with me. Although his decision was based on practicality, I had no objection to it. Now he had more time to sleep in the morning and I was with him until we reached the hotel. Also, he wasn't avoiding me like the plague and it was enough improvement for me.

On Friday night, I was sitting on the sofa, trying to come up with a way to learn more about the illegal business the hotel conducted. As pure coincidence, the window was open and; therefore, I heard Rune's voice clearly as he talked on the phone, leaning on his window. With a tired tone, he said he would visit his father tomorrow, in the afternoon, so I took a mental note to come up with an excuse to take him to the hospital.

Next day, as Rune promised, he left his flat around eleven. By that time I was already at the entrance with a bag of Baozi, waiting for Rune.

"Where are you going?" I asked as if I didn't know.

"Somewhere," he replied and attempted to pass me. I took a step to the side, blocking him.

"I can take you," I said, showing the Baozi bag, "I even have breakfast."

"No need," he said and rushed out. Sighing, I went to the parking lot and got my car as I already knew where he was going. Indeed, tailing him wasn't nice, but I didn't want him to be alone with his alleged father. I saw how uncomfortable Rune was in the hospital room that time, so I would rather stick with him... just in case.

With those thoughts, I arrived at the hospital and hid at the corner until Rune arrived. When he entered the room with reluctant steps, a nurse followed him with a board in her hand and I moved towards the window to see what they were doing.

I saw the nurse say something to Rune while showing him the board which had the alphabet on it. Rune nodded and the nurse left after wai-ying to him and Aof. Then Rune said something to Aof and started to move his hand on the board. When Aof blinked twice, he wrote the letter on a piece of paper.

The action continued for a good minute before Rune looked at the paper and the board fell from his grip. He took a few steps away from the bed, so I rushed in. I wanted to ask Rune what happened, but he pushed me and ran out of the room. Panicking, I followed him to the emergency staircase.

The sight in front of me was too... pitiful.

Rune was leaning on the guardrail, his head in between his hands and his body was trembling profoundly with the sobs he was letting out.

I wanted to give him some privacy, but seeing him swaying backwards, I darted forward and caught his body. He had passed out and his body was ice cold.

"Rune..." I patted him on his cheek, but there was no response. With my heart in my mouth, I scooped him up in bridal style and rushed up to his doctor's office.

I might have scared the doctor a bit as I kicked my way in, but he came around quickly. He helped me to lay Rune on a stretcher and checked his vitals.

"He needs a transfusion, but-"

"No buts!" I cut him off, "you already have my blood, just give it to him."

The doctor nodded and we took Rune to a familiar room where he used to get his transfusions. Although the doctor tried to send me out of the room, I resisted and held Rune's ice cold hand while he was getting my blood.

Luckily, when it was done, his complexion wasn't that pale anymore and his hands were warmer. With relief, I tucked Rune under the blanket properly and rushed to Aof's room.

Seeing me in his room twice in the same day, his eyes widened with shock as well as slight fear. Giving him no attention, I searched for the ominous paper and found it under the bed.

Get lost.

I read the words again and again, my brain refusing to acknowledge them. I crumpled up the paper and threw it to the bed with anger. I was just an inch away from chopping his head off.

"How dare you say something like this to Rune?!" I snapped at him and Aof's eyes widened a bit more.

"Don't you know how much he struggles because of us?! Do you have any idea how hurt he is?! How can you be his father?! You don't deserve him!"

I yelled and yelled, my hands tight around the bed frame. As Aof had a stroke, he just lay there, making me more angry because we couldn't have a proper fight. Helpless, I took my anger out of the poor food table and left the room.

After washing my face with cold water, I went out to buy Rune something to eat and went back to his room.

"Why... father... why...me..."

My poor angel was mumbling in his sleep with a disturbed expression. Guilt gnawed at me with full force and I rushed to the bed. I held his hand and rubbed the area between his eyebrows while whispering soothing words to him.

Rune clenched on my hand and before long he became motionless again though his grip was still tight as if he was using me as an anchor. Not wanting to break the contact, I sat on the edge of the bed and caressed Rune's hair as I waited for him to wake up.

Well, it took two hours for Rune to wake up and his expression wasn't very pleased, seeing me.