Ambivalent

29. Roles Reversed

Rune

I knocked on the cursed door and held my breath as I waited for it to be opened.

"It is open!" I heard Akara's weak sound shouting behind the door, so I turned the doorknob with shaky fingers.

"Rune?" he asked with wide open eyes, but I couldn't reply as my gaze was stuck on his bandaged upper body and left arm.

I might have swayed a bit with the sight and when I came to my senses, Akara was in front of me, holding my arms.

"Are you okay? Did you skip lunch?" he asked with apparent worry as he made me sit on the bed.

How ironic it was! I was there to check on him, but he was the one making a fuss about me.

"Lie down, doesn't it hurt?" I asked, trying to sound aloof.

He threw me a strange glance before sitting tete-a-tete with me on the bed, "it doesn't hurt much," he said with a slight smile.

"Mnn," I hummed, but seeing the kitchen top empty, I had to speak again. "Have you eaten anything today?" I asked, looking everywhere except him.

He shook his head vigorously, "no, why?"

Heaving a sigh, I stood up and went towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To buy something to eat for you," I replied and added "think of it as a repayment for the ointment." Of course, I wouldn't let him know that I was dead worried about him, right?

"I will buy it, you can just rest here, I saw you swaying a minute ago," Akara said as he attempted to stand up, but the careless movement made him hiss with pain.

"I will be quick," I said, trying to look aloof. Would he really care for me to that extent?

"Only if you also buy some for yourself," Akara said firmly, his eagle eyes looking at me intently.

"Whatever, just lie down," I said and left his flat with my heart hammering inside my rib cage.

How can I still be affected by him that intensely?! Unbelievable!

Cursing myself with great tenacity, I bought two servings of beef congee and went back to Akara's flat.

Although Akara insisted that he was okay, I didn't let him leave the bed. I gave him the bowl and intended to leave, but my eyes caught the medicine bag near the bed which seemed unopened.

"Didn't you apply any medicine?" I asked and immediately regretted it as the injury was mostly on his back, so of course he couldn't apply the medicine on his own.

Damn you Panit! Why did you let him out of the hospital?!

"I don't need it, I heal very fast, remember?" he replied with a light tone as if not to bother me.

Indeed, I knew that fact and could leave, but I wasn't that heartless. No matter how much Akara hurt me, he always treated my injuries carefully, so now it was my turn. As I couldn't admit that I still cared about him, I used my humanity as an excuse.

"Eat the congee, then I will apply the medicine," I said nonchalantly and sat on the yellow sofa to eat my congee. I could feel Akara's eyes on me, but never once I met his gaze.

After discarding the empty cups, I grabbed the medicine bag and sat on the corner of the bed. "Lie down," I said softly and Akara complied obediently though with slow moves.

Though I tried to look aloof, seeing the nasty knife wounds on his back, I hissed unwittingly.

"Not bad as it seems," Akara said with a muffled voice caused by the pillow.

I let out a cold chuckle, "so karma got you, ha? You set me up, but got hurt for Panit for real."

Akara straightened up swiftly and sat face to face with me. "That time I really didn't want you to hurt, later seeing your back, I hated myself," he said, his eyes conveying the pain of that time perfectly.

"I know... though it doesn't change the fact you set me up," I said and pushed him lightly so that he would lie back.

"I am so sorry."

I heard him whispering, but I didn't say anything. With crafty fingers, I applied the medicine and bandaged him again. By the time I finished the work, Akara was already asleep with dried tears in his eyes.

Gently, I wiped the tear stains with my sleeve and covered him with the blanket. Staring at his sleeping face, I saw how much he changed in only three months; his always neat hair was all messy now with the long bangs falling over his tired eyes and his cheeks were sunken as if he was sick all the time.

Is it because he genuinely regrets what he did?

My unruly hand caressed his messy black hair and I found myself thinking how nice it would be if I could hate him. Damn it, why did he have to look so broken? Shouldn't it be me?

My thoughts were interrupted as suddenly Akara grabbed my hand and pulled me towards himself, my back pressed on his sturdy chest. I tried to save myself, but his iron grip was too powerful for me. The more I wiggled, the more his hold got stronger.

"I am so sorry, Rune... don't leave... sorry..." he mumbled in his sleep and being desperately immobile, I remained still.

He would let me go soon... right?