𝗨𝗡𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗘𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 ─ 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗞𝗜

서른. A feeling of uncertainty.

"Give me!" Jungwon growled at Jay, snatching the pocky right out of Jay's hand as the older smiled and pat his head.

Niki looked around the room, but Sunoo was nowhere of sight.

"Uh, Where's Sunoo hyung?"

"Bathroom." 

"So is Heeseung hyung." 

Niki raised an eyebrow, what was taking Sunoo so long?

Why is Heeseung also taking so long?

"Why? Do you miss him that much?" Sunghoon nudged Niki's shoulder as Niki shook his head to deny it.

"No it's just, who takes so long in the bathroom?"

"Jay hyung."

"I DO NOT!"

- 

Heeseung sighed, patting Sunoo's head as the younger cried on his arms. They were at the garden behind the school, and luckily no one was there and so Sunoo was free to tell his problems. Heeseung was the best at keeping secrets between all seven of them and Sunoo knew he could trust the eldest.

"You have to tell Niki someday."

"I-I don't want to, it'll break his heart. I don't know if I love him, I thought that my problems would go away everytime he's around but ever since we started dating, my problems just grew bigger."

"Is that why you think..you shouldn't have said yes to his confession?" Sunoo sniffled and looked up at Heeseung.

"Does that make me a bad person?"

"I..I don't know Sunoo."

Sunoo rubbed his eyes, laying his head on Heeseung's shoulder.

"All I know is that you're a good guy for being honest. You know, not everyone has the guts to say these things aloud. It's okay to not be ready for a relationship. Just know that if that person really loves you, they will wait for you to be ready. And Niki's a great guy. I noticed his attitude has changed ever since you came. You made him a better person, Sunoo."

Sunoo's tears started falling out again.

The fact that he knows Niki loves him so much but he's not sure he can return the same amount of love hurts him. He really does treasure Niki, so he can't bare to tell these things to him because it'll break the boy's heart.

He's ashamed that he feels shame for liking Niki. Why can't he just like the person he likes without worrying about what everyone thinks?

He grew up being judged so much that he's afraid another mistake he does can ruin his reputation and in which, it's already ruined.

It's not that liking Niki was a mistake..

But he can't bare the reality of hearing other people talk badly about him.

With his father not loving him, and now his whole school hates him, it brings him sadness that even the one he loves the most, he feels like he's getting judged.

"Let's get back, hm?"

Sunoo nods as Heeseung stood up first and lent his hand for Sunoo to grab on. Sunoo wiped his tears and nose to make it less obvious that he sobbed, walking back to where the boys were with Heeseung patting Sunoo's head for comfort.

"There they are!" 

Niki jolted his head up, a serious face on when he saw Heeseung's arm around Sunoo's shoulder and caressing his hair. The door opened as Jungwon gasped.