"Damn" said the lawyer. "I can't believe you signed this contract. The sperm is her legal possession. It also says that, she - and I quote - 'Owns your dignity.' You initialled right next to that."
"Oh, no, Jake, this is a total disaster! I'll never be happy in my life" said Charles sadly.
Jake smiled.
"Why are you smiling?" asked Charles.
"Because this is exactly what we've trained for. It's a hostage situation, and we're gonna bring your boys home" said Jake.
-------------------
Y/n, Jake and Charles were in the briefing room.
"All right, Charles, I know you're freaking out and think you're never gonna be a father, but don't worry; There's no way we're gonna let Eleanor do anything to your precious..." Jake said.
"Boyle oil?" suggested Charles.
"Ugh. That is one of the worst possible names you've ever come up with" you said.
"All right, I'm out. She can do what she wants" Jake said.
"No, no, no, no, no. We'll just call them hostages" Charles said desperately.
"All right, fine, let's get to work. Here's what we know about Eleanor" said Jake, flipping the whiteboard over, revealing several pictures of Charles and Eleanor.
"Oh, my wedding day. I should've known it was a mistake when she said 'I suppose,' instead of 'I do'" said Charles.
"She actually said that?" you asked.
Charles nodded.
"Yowch, all right" said Jake, looking at a clipboard. "Hostage taker - Eleanor Horstwell. Age - 42. Occupation - Bank manager. No priors. Clean bill of health. Current husband - Hercules Thikalonos."
"Don't bring him into it. We're actually quite close" said Charles.
"Noted. You divorced in 2010. She got the house, both cars and 85% of your salary going forward" said Jake. He looked up. "That's a typo, right?"
"It is not" Charles said.
"How did she get so much?" you asked.
"My lawyer was Hercules. That's how they met" Charles answered.
"That's seems really unethical" Jake said.
"Again, lay off Hercules. He's quite a decent man" said Charles.
"All right, look, we need some sort of bargaining chip. Is there anything you got in the divorce that she wanted?" asked Jake.
"Yes. Abigail" said Charles.
"I'm just gonna assume that Abigail's something super weird" said Jake.
"Nope. She was our hairdresser" said Charles.
"Ah, okay" said Jake.
"It was awkward for her to see both of us, so she made us choose. I mean, I couldn't get rid of her. She's the only stylist in New York that can do this" said Charles, gesturing to his hair.
"Right, and do you think Eleanor still wants Abigail?" you asked.
"I mean, both of you saw her hair today." Charles chuckled. "It's all volume, no sheen."
"Okay, maybe we can use this. Time to put on our negotiation faces. Not too intimidating, but always in control. How's this?" said Jake, turning to face Charles and y/n, smiling.
"Oh, as if you don't know, it's perfect" said Charles.
----------------------
Y/n, Jake and Charles were standing outside Eleanor's apartment building.
"All right, remember. This is a negotiation. We can't let her know how badly you want this" said Jake.
"What if she destroys the sperm?" asked Charles.
"She's not gonna do that, Charles, because then she'd have no leverage. All right, you know this; They never shoot the hostage" said Jake.
"Hey!" shouted Eleanor from her balcony. "Did you threaten that ninety-year-old man for me yet?"
"What? The guy you hit was ninety?" you asked.
"Yeah, and you would know that if you had talked to him, which you obviously did not, so goodbye!" said Eleanor.
"No, no, wait, look! We can't help you out until we know that you actually have the samples! We need proof of life" said Jake.
"I'd be happy to dump one of the containers out of the window" said Eleanor.
"No, no, no, don't do that, please! Don't dump my sperm on us" said Charles.
An old woman walked past.
"Hello, ma'am. Top of the morning to you" said Jake. "All right, look, if you let us upstairs... We'll give you Abigail."
Eleanor touched her hair. "I'll buzz you in."
"And that is how it's done. Like taking candy from a baby" Jake said.
"Why would you bring up babies right now?" asked Charles.
"It's a saying" said Jake.
"Who would do that?" asked Charles.
I won't be able to update as much because I just started back at school, and I've got some important exams coming up and I've got to revise, however, I will try to update as much as possible.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake. "Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said. "For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you." "I like you too" you said. Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
