Y/n, Jake and Charles walked into Genevieve's ex-boyfriend's gallery.
"Okay, so here's my cover. My name is Sherwin LeMonde, sculptor, painter, full time barista. But once I sell my first piece, part time barista" said Jake.
"Oh, nice. I'm Donald Hoberman-Seitz. I wear glasses" said Charles.
"Is that all you got?" asked Jake.
"Sorry, I spent the cab ride here imagining me and Genevieve kissing" Charles said.
"That's kinda weird, Charles. And my name will be friends/full/name" you said.
"Isn't that your friends name?" asked Jake.
"Yeah, but doesn't matter. She's not here" you said.
"Okay, so just let me do the talking" Jake said.
"Wine?" offered one of the ladies walking around the room.
"Yes, thank you so much" said Jake. "Oh, wow, I love your outfit. I'm an artist, so I get that it's more than just tight."
"Nick likes to coat women in latex. He's fascinated by the idea of the human chrysalis in society's pupation" said the lady.
"Hmm, cool. Human chrysalis and whatnot" Jake said.
"Yeah, whatnot" said Charles.
"It's a whatnot" said Jake.
The lady walked away.
"I had no idea what she just said" you said.
"Same, what's a chrysalis? But a serious question, if she farts in that thing, does it blow up like a balloon?" asked Jake.
"You have to assume it would" Charles answered.
"You have to, right? Art is so intense" Jake said.
"It really is" Charles said.
"Look, there's Nick" you said.
All three of you walked towards Nick.
"Hey, man? Is this your work?" asked Jake.
"Yes" said Nick, smiling.
"It's good. I haven't talked to anyone here, but it almost seems like you're going for a human chrysalis thing" Jake said.
"I'm glad you like it. I wish I could take credit, but this is society. I'm just holding up the mirror" said Nick, looking round Jake's shoulder.
"Hmm?" said Jake, and turned round to see a dirty mirror with society in red hanging in front of it. "Wow. You meant that literally. Anyhow, I'm a fellow artist named Sherwin."
"I'm Donald Hoberman-Seitz. I wear glasses" said Charles.
"And I'm friends/full/name" you said.
"So anyway, I was wondering. How'd you get your own gallery?" asked Jake. "It must be really expensive."
"Art's not about the money, man" Nick said.
"Totally. It's more about the other things" Jake said.
"Right on" said Nick.
"This painting is called 'Genevieve 416.' What's that all about?" asked Charles.
"Well, April 16th was the day my ex, Genevieve, and I covered ourselves with paint and made love on that canvas for twenty four hours straight" Nick answered.
"That's pretty pathetic, dude. You seem pretty obsessed with Genevieve, huh?" Charles asked.
"Excuse me?" asked Nick.
"Donald" said Jake.
"I bet it really hurt when she dumped you" Charles said.
"What?" Nick asked.
"Donald, your glasses" Jake said.
"Where were you July 21st, Mr Butthead?" asked Charles.
"Uh..." Nick hesitated.
Charles mocked him. "Uh, duh, uh... You were robbing Genevieve's gallery. You framed her, and I should arrest you right now."
"What are you, cops?" asked Nick.
"What? No, we're artists. And as artists, we question everything" you answered.
"Including certain people's whereabouts on particular dates" added Jake.
"Get out of here" Nick said.
"Fine, but we're taking this, because you don't deserve that memory" Charles said, pointing at 'Genevieve 416.'
"That painting is $95,000" said Nick calmly.
"I don't want it anyway. Your penis was on it" said Charles, walking off.
"Sorry about that. Donald is... sucks" Jake said, as y/n and Jake followed Charles.
----------------------------
"I got to say, Boyle. Nick was pretty defensive" said Jake, watching Nick.
"Yeah, and he's a terrible artist. All he does is have sex on canvases. Any fourth grader could do that" said Charles.
"But... They shouldn't" you said.
"No" Charles said.
"Hey, Nick doesn't like cops, but he didn't do anything wrong" said the lady from earlier, walking over.
"And how would you know?" asked Jake.
"I'm his assistant, Dvora. He would never set up Genevieve. He's still in love with her. He keeps boxes of her old stuff lying around" said Dvora.
"Ooh, can we look at, smell and handle them?" asked Charles excitedly. "I mean, you know, for the investigation. We're cops."
"Please, take the boxes. I want them out of here" Dvora said, crossing her arms.
"Oh, okay, great. You wouldn't happen to know where he was on July 21st, would you?" Jake asked.
"Actually, I would. He did a performance art piece that entire month. He lived in a cage on the street and never left it. The whole thing's on video" said Dvora.
"Okay, great" you said.
"Totally. We'll just go around back and pick up the boxes" Jake said. "Oh, one more thing. Where in this 'cage' did he go to the bathroom?"
"Bucket" said Dvora.
"Okay, gross" said Jake.
"Have a good night" you said.
Sorry for not updating in a while. I'm really stressed at the moment, but I finish school tomorrow so I should have more time to update.
Also, this episode is taking forever to write up lol.
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Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfic"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake. "Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said. "For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you." "I like you too" you said. Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
