this one is kind of sad, its not really like romantic or a sexy cigarette moment, but enjoy :)
tw : suicide
vinnie's pov :
"a pack of malboro please." i said with the cash in my hand ready to pay.
"lighter included?" asked the man at the cashier while scanning the pack.
"no its fine...and this too please." i said placing a chocolate bar on the counter. y/n's favorite, felt like giving her a little something. "keep the change."
i walked out to my car and begun the drive home. everything in my life seemed perfect; i had a beautiful loving girlfriend who was my inspiration, motivation, and biggest supporter. along with an amazing fan base, financial freedom, an unconditional family, so many things to be happy about. yet, i couldn't forget about losing a high school friend. he was so young, i always talked about visiting but i lost track of time. i couldn't stop thinking about his family or about how he was more than a friend and more like a brother.
he was the only one who knew about me wanting to ask y/n to marry me soon. i'd always run to him for advice. i wish he would've come to me. im not saying im a psychologist but i could've tried to get him out of the dark spot he was in.
i haven't felt in my best my last couple of days. i knew a cigarette wasn't the cure but it sure helped get my mind off and out of this state. im not proud of it. y/n wouldn't beat my ass over smoking, we've smoked together, gotten high together, gotten drunk out of our minds together. but if she knew i was smoking as an escape she would definitely say something about it.
"hey baby." said y/n greeting me as i walked into the house.
i smiled softy and kissed her forehead. "how was your day?"
"great! i did some castings." she smiled. she was truly my biggest flex, she was an angel.
she was working as a model and designer but not only was she gorgeous, she was talented and was an actress occasionally. like i said she was my biggest flex.
she beat herself up too much about not being tall enough to do runway. but she was perfect the way she was in my opinion.
"you look sad baby whats wrong?" she asked grabbing my face.
"tired." i said as i pulled out the chocolate for her.
"aww." she said kissing my cheek. "thank you. i was gonna invite you out to eat or to order something."
"i say order, i need like some relaxation time." i said. "i think im gonna go..meditate."
she laughed while opening her phone to go on post mates. "meditate? sushi?"
"sure." i said walking up the stairs and going to the balcony. no one ever went on this balcony, me and y/n would come out here anytime we wanted to go out but have privacy.
i didn't focus too much on anything. just smoking and putting my stress on that.
"foods here." said y/n from the door. i felt my heart skip a beat, as if i got caught. i dropped the cigarette, but it lightly burnt my hand.
"fuck." i said when my hand got hit.
"were you smoking?" she asked coming closer.
"yeah." i said. i wasn't proud of it; she knew me too well for me to tell her i wasn't smoking to escape.
y/n's pov :
i didn't really know what to say. after all its not like im his mom. i was more concerned than i was disappointed. i knew the pain he felt about his friend's passing. he hardly wanted to talk about it, he hasn't even cried about it.
i knew him too well. if he was offered a cigarette he'd take it, but if he went out and bought a pack on his own it was more like a way to escape. which worries me because thats how addiction begins.
i didn't wanna cut the conversation and pretend like it was nothing but i also didn't wanna scold him. i just walked back inside and put our postmates in the mini fridge in our room.
"are you mad?" asked vinnie coming into our room.
"im not mad." i said sitting on our bed. he looked broken inside. i knew my boyfriend, i knew that he would fight off the feeling of tears until he couldn't anymore.
he took a deep breath with his eyes closed. i knew this trick was to not break down into tear.
"vin." i said. "come."
he walked a little closer and sat on our bed, his back facing me.
i could hear him sniffle and his soft cries. i was too in love with him to where i felt his pain and the weight he's been carrying.
"im right here baby." i said hugging him and he turned around and cried into my neck. i ran my hands through his hair and rubbed his back.
"i-i wish i would've known." said vinnie laying his head on my chest calming his sobs down. "i should've been there. i should've known."
"there's something out of anyone's control, babe you can't beat yourself up. you were an amazing friend, you're an amazing person, don't put this all on you. know it hurts, i know you're in pain. i'm sorry for you loss." i said caressing his cheek with my thumb.
a couple hours passed. vinnie had zero appetite and i honesty lost mine while spending some time with him. we were watching one of the animes he liked as he stayed relaxed. i wanted to try to stay awake in case he needed someone to drain his thoughts to but it was 4 a.m. and i felt myself ready to knock out.
"i love you." i said as we switched the lights off seeing that he was ready to knock out as well.
"i love you more." he said. i laid my head on his chest as he played with my hair. "thank you. i don't know what id do without you."
