Smoke Me.

Chapter 20: In a Bubble

While cooking, watching tv, before bed, sometimes in the morning, and most definitely in the shower. At school on the rooftop while I am sitting down on the concrete. He fingered me everywhere while licking my earlobe and my neck like it was some delicious treat.

I was constantly hard, but that didn't matter.

No, this man was simply trying to stretch my muscles as a gym instructor would do for its best, future marathon runner.

I ended up stroking myself in the bathroom during class.

Masturbating with my brother in the other room and ultimately, avoiding his house altogether.

The exams were getting near, so I used that as an excuse. Also, the fact that I had to be sober more often was already taking a toll on the little sanity I had left.

He understood.

But I was lying through my teeth.

Work hours were unbearable.

Even the time spent in the club room felt like a chore.

So, when Kwan called and told us to come to Bora's performance that was happening in a club, I faked enthusiasm in front of everybody while thinking of only one thing: 'Alcohol.'

I didn't want it. But I was desperate for any kind of mental break.

Namjoon couldn't do anything with so many people around and despite the complaints that I've had to listen to after the week in which he didn't have the chance to as much as bump into me, and now, I was the one who wouldn't sit next to him.

Even when I enjoyed the feeling, I couldn't take it anymore.

It happened on and on like a broken record.

This club outing was the one time I could spend with him in which I didn't have to be sober and in which I could stay by his side without covering my ass.

That's what I thought when I met with him in front of my apartment and said:
"You look good in leather." With a smile.

The venue was smaller than I anticipated. It wasn't much bigger than the house of a family that was well off, but the parents were not doctors or lawyers either.

People were grinding on each other. Drinks were getting poured one after another. The dancing lights made the dark corners mysterious and yet, the short skirts did nothing to distract him.

One drunk girl actually stumbled in front of him and touched his arm only to get gently pushed in the direction of the more sober friend that seemed to have been chasing her.

The drunk blonde seemed offended when her advances weren't reciprocated. But Namjoon had a straight face that betrayed no emotion.

His eyes followed me and ignored the rest as if they weren't there.

When we met Kwan at the bar with free drinks, I could finally exhale.

"There's a lot of people here." He complained.

"You guys are late. What took you so long?"
"I had some stuff I needed to attend before..." Namjoon said.

And Kwan turned to me next for an explanation, but I was too busy trying to down the cocktail: "Ah, I, ah...was waiting for him."
She sighed.

"Honestly. You left me alone for an hour."
"Isn't Sony and Yeong Cheol here?"
I asked passively.

"I don't know. They said hi and then disappeared. I didn't know they were coming at all either. They just showed up."
"And Bora?"